“Does your father have a DNR on file?” Dr. Li, my dad’s ER physician, called me because I was Dad’s medical power of attorney (MPOA). Fortunately, I already knew that DNR stood for “Do Not Resuscitate.” Dad always had his DNR taped to doorways and cabinets wherever he lived! But as I handled more questions from Dr. Li, I realized I wasn’t as prepared to make decisions for my Dad as I thought. Because many of you will find yourself in this role at some point, I want to share some lessons I’ve learned to help you better prepare.

Photo Courtesy@Shutterstock.com/Marc F Gutierrez

Dad was always proactive. He communicated in 2009 that he was ready to meet the Lord. He emphasized that under no circumstances did he want his life to be artificially sustained. He said, “Please let me go, and REJOICE with me when that happens!” Then in June 2011, he approached me to see if I would be his MPOA. I readily said, “yes.” Months after I agreed to this role, I received a copy of his MPOA document, along with his living will, a directive to medical providers. Instead of reading the documents word-for-word, I skimmed the pages to get the gist of his desires and promptly filed it away. That’s not good preparation!

Photo Courtesy@Shutterstock.com/Rallef

Four years later, I found myself thrust into making medical decisions for Dad without warning. Dr. Li called me several times to discern Dad’s wishes so he could proceed with his care. I had to think on my feet. I was at a service station the first time he called and in no position to access Dad’s living will. All I remembered of Dad’s wishes was that he was ready to go “home.”  Every time Dr. Li asked a question, I repeated a question of my own: Does this procedure artificially sustain Dad’s life, or is it meant to make him more comfortable?

Photo Courtesy@Shutterstock.com/Alliance

I winged it, but you don’t have to. Here are a few recommendations so you will be ready when it’s your time to make medical decisions for your family members:

1) Read the documents your loved ones took the time to prepare!

By God’s grace, I answered Dr. Li’s questions correctly without reading Dad’s living will closely. I looked it up after he died to confirm this. “If, in the judgment of my physician, my death is imminent within minutes to hours, even with the use of available medical treatment provided within the prevailing standards of care, I acknowledge that all treatments may be withheld or removed except those needed to maintain my comfort.” Dr. Li told me that he considered Dad’s respiratory distress as an “end-of-life” situation. Once they removed his Bi-Pap mask that pumped oxygen into his lungs, Dad could die within minutes or hours.

2) After you read the documents, sit down with your loved ones to process them and make sure you understand what they desire.

I was negligent, but this doesn’t have to be true for you. Healthcare decisions are more complex than you think. For example, think about a DNR. Suppose a loved one goes into cardiac arrest and stops breathing. Does the DNR mean “do not resuscitate” in all circumstances? Imagine yourself having the cardiac arrest. If all it takes is for a person to perform CPR, don’t you want that? I think we owe it to our loved ones to get these kinds of clarifications.

3) Make sure you have these documents at your finger tips.

With today’s technology, documents can be at our finger tips. Here are some ideas:

• Buy a USB stick (approximately $8) and download these documents. Store the USB stick in your purse, or attach it to your key ring.

• Email your medical provider a copy of your MPOA and living will. Many times your doctor will be the referring physician when you need more specialized care. They can forward these documents with your permission to other providers.
• Consider storing your documents in a digital filing cabinet like Evernote, which you can access by their phone App or on your computer via the Internet.
• Keep a hard copy of these documents in your glove compartment and in your home files.

4) If you haven’t established your living will and/or medical POA, now is the time.

Are you procrastinating to get your living will and MPOA in place? If yes, welcome to the club. I have an offer for my Texas readers that you shouldn’t pass up. My attorney is willing to offer his services at a special price of $75 if we contact him in the next 90 days and use my name as your referral source. Here is his contact data: Don Walden, 512-349-9595, donwalden@peoplepc.com. If you live in Texas, he will offer this $75 rate through October 16, 2105.

If you have been in this role and have some lessons to share with us, please do so below.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

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