Are you pursuing a goal that you believe God has called you to do, but it just isn’t happening? Do you encounter more struggles in the process to the point you’re questioning if God called you to do it?
I am working on a non-fiction book proposal for my Living Giving vision, a book entitled Only One Life to Give. I have been working on this for almost two years now. Though I have 15,000 words written out of a 50,000-word goal, it has been a significant expenditure of time with little outcome. Many of you know I have blogged on a variety of angles to this book. I have written on giving, the importance of tithing, and God’s call to be generous givers. I have shown you pie charts and strategies to change our family’s financial tree. I have plenty of content! I have solid resources to write an effective proposal for publishers. This is not a theoretical exercise. I have been executing this Living Giving vision since 2007, and I am seeing enormous results over the last eight years. I believe God has called me to share this vision with others.
However, there is a roadblock. For publishers to take a strong interest in my proposal, my book has to “solve a problem” for many. It has to scratch the proverbial itch. I have many ideas on why I think readers should pick up a book on Living Giving, but when I read it on paper, it just seems lifeless. Of course debt is a hindrance to giving. Of course you don’t know what you don’t know when it comes to what you can achieve for your family and God’s kingdom. The Bible teaches that without a vision the people perish. Money is tight for many people, so why do they even want to think about giving? If I’m not sold on the opening, why would I expect it to excite you enough to pick it up? Is this book supposed to be more inspirational or motivational? I can do that, but most people want to read something that meets a felt need for them. I don’t have my springboard in place for the rest of my content to fall into place.
Photo Courtesy @Flickr.com/Sybren Stüvel
When I look at the time and money invested in this process, I struggle with whether I have been a good steward of both. Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” I wonder if I spent my time “wisely.” Did I waste it? Did God prefer that I redirect my zeal to write this book toward a different ministry that would have had greater impact? I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t want to squander the gift of time if He hasn’t called me to do this.
I felt burdened by this, so I shared this scenario with a dear friend of mine. Why do I feel such a strong passion to share this vision, but can’t seem to get this off the ground? The book will flow once I have tagged the true felt need of my readers. But if God is not in this, I do not dare waste another minute on this project! I am at crossroads, and I need to discern if God supports this effort.
God must have prepared my friend’s heart in advance of my dilemma. She shared her wisdom based on similar life experiences. She said, “God has called you to write this book, but now is not the time. When it’s not in God’s timing, it’s like trying to make a square peg fit a round hole.”
No sooner did she say that, and Acts 16:6-10 came to mind. Paul knew he was called to share the gospel, but God kept redirecting him:
Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phyrgia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.
Paul never questioned his calling to evangelize the world. He always obeyed God’s call, but didn’t always know the timing of when or where he was to go. His zeal first led him to share Jesus in the province of Asia, but the Holy Spirit was essentially saying not now. Then his passion led him to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus basically communicated not now. Paul had no idea when God would allow him into those two areas, but he determined to keep moving. Paul never lost his passion for his call, but he was also accepting of God’s timing. The difference between me and Paul is that he accepted not now, and I did not!
My heart-to-heart with my friend helped me recognize that I was trying to push too hard instead of letting this happen in God’s time. The weight off of my shoulders melted away, and I have a complete peace about this process. I have a passion to share God’s vision, and I will continue to write in my journal until God’s voice becomes loud and clear. He may reveal what I need tomorrow, and it may be ten years from now. I will maintain a spirit of expectancy as I write. Meanwhile, I now accept that God’s timing is everything.
Have you ever passionately pursued a calling you believe God gave you, only to find it a continual struggle? How did you resolve it? Your thoughts and insights are welcomed below.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Our souls cry out to one another. The best communication rests not on what you say or what you write. It rests on what you do. If you feel compelled to write, then write. But others around you may not feel compelled to read what you write. What you say and what you write may not be addressed to them. But others you have not met may be waiting to hear what you say and to read what you write. For eight years the Apostle Paul waited at Tarsus before being invited to Antioch by Simon. He had to rethink everything he had previously written and said. What became important was what he did. No longer a Pharisee, he became a Christian. Imagine how he felt during the eight years he prepared to be called. He wrote and spoke for the ages. So must we all, including you. As Paul would say: Keep the faith. Amen.
That’s a great word with a wonderful biblical example, David. Thank you!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
This made me remember the (many) times I did not wait on God’s timing and made some terrible mistakes. Other times, I knew what I was supposed to do and it was a total struggle. Those times it seems I had something important yet to learn before I could move forward. Your story makes perfect sense to me. Because you seek Him with your whole heart, you’ll hear Him speak when His timing is right!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, Deonne! I am very confident that I’ll hear His voice when His timing is right, but right now I am in season where I need to sit quietly and learn whatever He is trying to teach me. The good news is that I am willing to be patient instead of forcing the writing of this book. It needs to ultimately be His penmanship!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
I always enjoy reading your blog. It reminds me of my brother, your Dad ! I have been given many gifts as you probably know and in return for my many gifts, I follow the premise ” Giving Transforms the One who gives”.
Love,
Uncle Dudley
Dear Uncle Dudley:
You are sharing such an important spiritual truth that is an integral part of this book I’m trying to write. The transformation is a heart of generosity. As God’s children, a generous heart should be the default setting of His children. We are made in His image, which means if we are God-followers, we are looking for ways to give in the only life we’ve been given. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Love and Hugs,
Lee Ann
I struggle most when my ego is getting involved in my response to what I believe God has called me to do. I have asked for discernment to know when my ego is triggered. When I recognize ego involvement, I go in prayer to surrender my ego once again. (At least I try to surrender it.)
When I desire only to be a channel of His grace, things move along more smoothly, but still slowly. I think the slow pace has something to do the growth and blessing He desires to give us as we offer ourselves to Him. It’s like He’s trying to tell us that the calling isn’t as important as our relationship to Him.
You honor your calling every time you teach in His name. You have been chosen and blessed to share His love with others, and I’ve never sensed you struggle with that calling. Thank you Lord for sharing your light, life, and love with us through your servant
Lee Ann.
That is beautifully put, Peggy! Call it ego, call it my flesh, or whatever, the struggle exists because I haven’t slowed down enough in all my zeal to hear His voice more accurately. It is a daily prayer of mine that God would be glorified in every blog post and that people will experience His encouragement and blessing to minister to their spirit. But I can have all the right motivations and the right heart to glorify Him, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still need to slow down and let all of this unfold in His timing. I bet He has more to share with me to write the book HE has in mind!!
Thanks for sharing your own experience. I love the prayer of being a channel of His grace. I believe He’s asked us all along to be a channel of His love so that others are attracted to Christ.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Thanks; this blessed me. May we be cheerful givers; please pray His church be full of more cheerful givers and more transformation happens.
ps When the time comes, that Malachi verse where God says to only test Him in money and a few testimonies may be a good hook in the book. God bless you more.
Thank you for your thoughts. Our churches do need to be full of cheerful givers. God is a giver, and we are made in His image. We should be characterized by a heart of generosity just like Him! I love Malachi 3. You are correct that this is the only place in Scripture where God invites us to “test” Him. He says if we will bring our tithes into the storehouse, He will “throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”
I have also collected some testimonies already and plan to gather more. I have tons of Scripture to support this living giving vision. I invite you to pray with me that the Lord will show me how to reach other people’s hearts on living giving. My heart is on fire for it, but I need God’s wisdom on how to infect everyone else’s heart!
Blessings,
Lee Ann