I struggle with procrastination more than I care to admit.  There is so much more I want to do for God.  Yet, every day I wake up, I realize I am now one day closer to meeting my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.  Stated differently, when I wake up each day, I realize that I have one less day to make a difference for Him, which equates to another lost opportunity that can’t be retrieved to do more for Him.  After all, the number of days that have been allotted for each of us has already been ordained before we ever came into being according to Psalm 139:16.  Life on this earth is short, and He has given us an opportunity to give our lives back to Him and partner with Him to make a difference in His kingdom.  I am always impacted by I Cor 6:19-20 that says, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own.  You were bought at a great price.  Therefore honor God with your body.”  I have always internalized this as “Well, if I was bought at a great price and Christ was willing to take my place on the cross, the least I could do out of gratitude is give my life right back to Him so He can use me with the gifts He’s given me.”

This struggle has been accentuated over the last 12 months as I have watched young people fight for their lives against cancer.  One friend has lost the battle (Lori Peister), while one whom I continue to pray for has been in a tough battle for nearly a year (Dennis Dick), and one who just got diagnosed with brain cancer and had brain surgery last Tuesday after going to the ER for an unmanageable “migraine” on Sunday (Eric Walton) is getting ready to do battle.  Life is so short and truly unpredictable.  That’s not news.  The bible says in James 4:13-14, “You who say, ‘today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city,  spend a year there, carry on business and make money.  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’”  You and I really don’t know that we have tomorrow unless the Lord allows us to wake in the morning.  We all see these situations on a regular basis, and I think to myself, this could be me just as easily as it could be you in these situations.  Cancer and illnesses are not a respecter of people.  Some of you can already identify with this kind of battle as God has healed you and extended your earthly life by His grace.  I would bet my life savings that it changed your life and the priorities you have in a positive way.  Many cancer survivors will say “appreciate the life you have and live each day to the fullest”, or many will consistently say, “we are too wrapped up in things that don’t matter. “  Without fail, survivors seem to have a much stronger appreciation for the gift of life than those of us who have not (yet) faced life-threatening challenges, and they live life more fully in the presence of God than they ever had before.

So here is my frustration.  Exactly what does it take for me to quit wasting time and/or procrastinating and really pursue the passion God has given me to be a better bible study teacher and be a better student of the bible so that I can reach more people for Christ and facilitate the growth of those who are already believers?  How much more motivation do I really need to get going? How much more sickness do I need to see?  How many more days am I going to squander before I finally get moving?  I have only been dwelling on this passion for the last 3 years and have for the last 3 years found ways to keep it on the back burner.  It’s time to step it up a notch and take the gift of life and live it as fully as I know how with the passion and gifts He’s already given me and just build on it.  After all, I don’t know when I will be called home.  My days could be alot shorter than I think.  Presuming that I will live a long life is a faulty assumption.  I don’t know that I will get to live a long life.  The unknown number of days that I really have should be more motivation to get started. 

If you have made it this far, I would simply ask that you pray for me.  I need to tag what my real resistance is to move forward.  I really want to be more effective for Him and really sharpen my spiritual gift of teaching and impact more people.  Jer 29:11-12 should be further motivation as He promises me (and you) a hope and a future He has already laid out for me.  It’s time to experience what He has laid out for me in advance and get going because life is short. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann