In this modern world, we can’t avoid stress, but we can learn to manage it with grace. Did you know that Scripture offers a biblical paradigm to manage our stress? I came upon this wisdom after blowing a gasket over a few changed doctor appointments for my Dad.
Since my father asked me to handle his affairs in 2011, I’ve been responsible for overseeing his physical care by getting him the medical appointments he needs. I realized in early January that he was overdue for his annual physical. He also needed follow-up appointments with his lung specialist and his urologist. Dad’s physicians practice in Austin, and since Dad lives outside of Austin, I needed to coordinate with the Transportation Director, Curly, at Dad’s facility. I called Curly on January 10th to find out how far in advance I needed to coordinate three appointments on the same day, at the same clinic. He told me March was free and clear and asked me to fax whatever I set up so he could block it out on his calendar.
I spent several days coordinating three appointments for March 7th. After I faxed Curly the data on January 15th, he called me to confirm the receipt of my fax. It was a lot of work and I was relieved, knowing Dad would get the care he needed. Until Curly called back on March 5th and let me know that he cancelled Dad’s two out of the three appointments. He apologized for having to do this, but the facility had another resident who needed to be somewhere that day, leaving no one to take Dad from one appointment to the other. I was not in the mood for an apology.
“Curly, I specifically called you in early January to get YOUR input as to when I could set these appointments up!” I raised my voice. “You even confirmed them on January 15th!! Why is it OK to just dismantle these appointments two days before his appointments?? Why didn’t you call me if you needed help to get him from appointment to appointment? All you needed to do was ask!!”
Poor Curly. All he could do was apologize. “But I moved your Dad’s physical to April 30th ,” he said.
“April 30th?!” I asked with exasperation. “That’s my Dad’s birthday. He is NOT going to celebrate his birthday doing a physical!!!” I maintained my intensity, “Curly, I am NOT ok with this. As soon as we hang up, I am calling the administrator.”
Which I did. Lane, the administrator, explained that they liked to set the residents’ appointments themselves. I became even more frustrated.
“Then why didn’t Curly just SAY that??” I asked. I thought for a moment about what I needed to know. “Can Curly get my Dad to the clinic by 9:30am on March 7th? That’s all I want to know.”
“Yes, he can,” he replied.
“Then as soon as we hang up, I am calling the clinic and re-establishing the appointments that Curly just cancelled. If I need to stay with Dad to escort him around the clinic to get to his appointments, I will do it. I just need someone to communicate with me if they need my help.”
As soon as I hung up with Lane, I called the clinic and was able to re-establish the appointments for Dad. I felt miserable the rest of the day. Why did I just uncork on a van driver and an administrator? I pray every morning to be clothed in God’s spiritual armor. Every morning I pray for a fresh indwelling of His Holy Spirit to exude the fruit of the Spirit. So why did I act that way? I was discouraged that I couldn’t control my emotions. What would I need to do differently when I feel high levels of stress?
After thinking and praying about it, I discovered that the situation left me feeling powerless and inadequate. But instead of inviting the Lord to help me in the situation, I was on mission to fix this fiasco by myself. That’s unfortunate because it didn’t need to be that way. As I said at the beginning of this post, Scripture offers us a biblical paradigm to manage stress.
In 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Paul writes about a thorn in his flesh. He pleads with God three times to please remove the thorn, but God chose not to. Instead, God gave Paul a new paradigm to deal with his thorn or stress: But the Lord said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Paul accepts this new way of thinking. He says, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am in strong. I love Paul’s attitude. He gets it. It’s absolutely OK to feel inadequate, powerless, to feel weak, to deal with hardships and difficulties. He knows that God’s grace will not only be sufficient, but Christ will strengthen him. He knows to look to God when the stresses of life hit him.
So here’s the irony in this paradigm from God. When I am feeling inadequate or powerless in a situation, I am in the best possible position I could ask for! I would much rather be powerless and have to depend on the Lord to provide His solution than for me to falsely assume “I can figure this out and don’t even need to pray about this.” So when stress appears and I feel inadequate, praise God! I will be forced to depend on Him, and His strength will be perfected in my weakness.
How does Scripture help you to manage stress? I’d love to hear which passage ministers to you.
Blessings, Lee Ann
Hi Lee Ann,
This blog really touched me today, as my mom lives in great pain and has been for years. Through all if this, she remains upbeat and has grown even closer in her relationship with God. Just like the thorn, moms pain is being managed by God’s great love for her. This blog has helped me understand a little more “why.” Thank you.
Hi, Karen:
I am so glad that this post helped you as you watch your Mom live in great pain. I am humbled that God used today’s post because I questioned if it had enough quality content to even be published. So the fact that your comment was waiting for me this morning is one more sign that God is at work in these posts when I had my doubts.
I am thrilled that God used this passage to help you understand how your Mom remains upbeat and draws closer to God. May that be true for all of us! Karen, thank you for being a consistent supporter of my blog.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Thanks for this Lee Ann. I needed to read this to know that I am not alone. I have been under a great deal of stress lately. God does speak to us through our challenges in life. I will strive to take on Paul’s attitudes.
You’re welcome, Rita. I certainly understand being under greater stress lately! You are not alone, and I will partner with you to ingrain Paul’s attitude in my heart so that I have the right perspective when the stretches of life that hold more stress than others hits.
Thank you for taking the time to comment on this blog. Your voice matters and others will connect with what you wrote.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
God is in control~~People like to have the illusion of control but we are not in control.
Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? Is in not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? (Lamentations 3:37-38)
Nicki:
You are right on that control of things external to us are just an illusion. I do believe that God expects us to control what we can control, and that’s our words and behaviors. We are accountable to Him in the end.
But your Lamentations quote is a most interesting one. I am challenged by it and want to make sure I read it in its context first. My knee-jerk reaction is that the Lord being sovereign has the power to bring about the good things and the calamities, but I don’t think the writer is suggesting that God was steering me while I was blowing a gasket with a van driver. Nicki, I could be wrong, but I need to look at this passage more closely. I hope other readers checking these comments will have a helpful response as well.
I always appreciate when you comment, Nicki, because you always make me think. You have stretched me this morning, and I promise to look at Lamentations further!
Blessings and Hugs,
Lee Ann
Thanks Lee Ann. Well put. Now to live in this reality on a moment by moment basis is the challenge.
Thanks again.
Thank you, Jonathan. Living in this reality is the hardest part! I just wish it were easier. I sometimes struggle with the genuine prayers I offer each morning for God to live through me in the ways He describes in His Word and how there can be days where there is a “disconnect”. I know the disconnect is not on God’s side! Uugh.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Jonathan. Your support of this blog, and most importantly, your friendship to me is highly valued. You’re a dear brother in Christ.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Thanks Lee Ann for the reminder that God’s grace is enough!
You’re welcome, Jane!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Hi Lee Ann,
Your challenge was how does scripture help you handle stress. That passage in Lamentations helps me handle stress because ultimately it puts the reigns in God’s hands not mine (he’s in control). I know some don’t find comfort in God orchestrating bad things but he does use them for his good purpose. Obviously too, we do what we can to make a situation better. I’m not implying we sit back and let the world happen. I have christian people tell me if something isn’t coming easy maybe that is God’s sign not to do it. I don’t buy that. Do you think it was easy for Christ to die on the Cross for our sins? We are accountable to God for our wrong actions too. God doesn’t need to help orchestrating us to sin we do that well on our own. I just find comfort that in the good and bad it is all in God’s sovereignty.
Hi, Nicki:
I actually find great comfort that God is always in control and that all things work together for good. I also affirm that God does allow both the things that bring us joy as well as situations that bring us challenges or suffering. We can go to the book of Job and see that in God’s sovereignty He allowed Satan to “sift” Job. So I am all good with that.
My response to you appears to have taken my original question one more step, so I apologize if I engaged that more than you desired! Thanks for circling back on this.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Dear Lee Ann,
Thank you for being open and transparent, and a great encouragement to us!
When I lost my job two years ago, memorizing Psalm 51 was a great help. I would wake up in the middle of the night, my thoughts churning, and calling on God’s grace helped me to calm down and get back to sleep. It is part of, along with Psalms 1, 2, and 3, my favorite psalms.
Greetings,
Bernhard
Bernhard,
Thank you for being an encouragement to me as well! I loved the Psalms you pointed out. I am going to re-read them. It is so helpful to know what Scripture passages people lean on when the stresses of life hit. Thank you for contributing.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Thanks Lee Ann. This was especially helpful today.
Glad to hear it!
Love,
Lee Ann