There’s a difference between learning to give and desiring to give. Giving doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen naturally. When we are born, we have a default setting to possess things rather than to give. As toddlers didn’t we all assume that whatever was in our possession was ours? Anyone who dared to take it out of our hands heard a boisterous, defiant “Mine!!” We start out with a bent toward selfishness, and our parents have the task of teaching us to share. Parents have the opportunity to shape the hearts of their children toward giving at a very early age, and my parents did that. Just grasping that something I had in my possession could be shared with someone else at age two was an accomplishment on their part!
I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home. My parents did a great job of teaching me the why behind giving. At one level I was taught the importance of giving because God commands us to give a tenth (tithe) of what He provides to us. But there was a much greater lesson in giving. It was about acknowledging that we have a perfect Father in heaven who takes care of us, and our tithe is our way to cultivate a heart of gratitude toward God. How did I learn to give a tenth? My “income” was an allowance received for doing chores. I know there are debates about paying a child to do chores since chores should be a shared responsibility among family members. However, my parents utilized allowances as a way to teach me how to handle money and to give it. I learned that the allowances I earned were NOT all mine. I was taught to bring ten percent out of the allowance and put it in the offering plate, and the rest was divided between saving and spending. Learning to give a tithe early helped me to acknowledge God as my provider.
By the time I was old enough to work summer jobs through high school and college, giving to the Lord was so ingrained that it felt unnatural not to give. Then I entered into the workforce. Being an Accounting major, I gravitated to serving on the Finance Committee at my church to help steward God’s resources and prepare budgets. The experience of serving on this committee was an eye-opener. First, I saw how paramount it is for all members to tithe to support the budget. Our giving not only supported our pastors, but missionaries who were sharing the gospel around the world. I observed dollars going to the poor. I could see that the church allocated God’s money to God’s work. Second, I saw the frustration of staff when giving was not what it should be. The church could do so much more ministry if every believer was obedient to God’s command to bring in the firstfruit of their income into His church (Malachi 3:8-10). There is plenty of data on giving patterns in the church, and I understand why staff get discouraged. According to Barna Research done in 2001, between thirty to fifty percent of active church attenders give nothing.
How depressing. As I served on the Finance committee, I could sense a callousness developing in my heart. Giving a tithe to support the church budget was an expectation from God, and I was going to be faithful to Him. But I began to operate in automatic pilot. The tithe check started to feel perfunctory. In fact, I started calling my checks “thank you” notes to God to get my heart more involved. But I wanted my heart to be engaged with giving beyond the experience of dropping my “thank you” note in the offering plate as it went by. There was an absence of joy in giving that’s described in Scripture. If Macedonian churches in 2 Cor 8:2 could experience “overflowing joy” while “giving generously out of extreme poverty”, then surely joy is just waiting to be experienced in generous giving regardless of my level of resources. There has to be more to giving than increasing my percentage of giving to the church. I decided to do something about that.
It was New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2006, and I remember wanting a New Year’s Resolution for 2007. As the clock ticked, I decided that my resolution was not going to take the form of a goal. We all know how that goes! I decided that my resolution would be in the form of a simple prayer that I would commit to pray regularly throughout the year. This was my resolution for 2007: “Lord, help me to be a generous giver just like you.”
This prayer began to change my heart and my life. God began a new work in my heart. My giving went from something I should do to something I desired to do. God ignited a desire in my heart to share His resources as often as possible. I immediately altered my Excel budget spreadsheet. My old version had only one line item for my “thank you” note to the church. A new line item was added entitled, “Those in Need.” I started with a fixed dollar amount and prayed that God would reveal to me those in need. In return I would respond immediately. Luke 6:30 says, “Give to everyone who asks.” I trusted God to reveal who needed the resources without me judging the person, and He did so. The joy of giving took off! I would wake up each day having no idea who God would reveal to me to share His resources, and I couldn’t wait! If I had any remaining dollars that were not given, they were rolled into the following budget cycle as an addition to the set amount I had established. In addition, if expenses I budgeted for didn’t happen or were lower than expected, I took the extra and rolled it into the “Those in Need” line item as well. That line item came alive and is alive today! It’s the one line item in my budget that has the most spiritual energy and gives me the greatest joy.
I thank my parents who taught me to give at a very early age. I learned to give to God as a discipline, and this foundation remains my springboard to accomplish His purposes through additional giving. I also thank God for hearing my heartfelt prayer in 2007 and answering it! I continue to pray this prayer. By God’s grace, I now experience the joy of giving and have transitioned from learning to give to desiring to give.
Blessings, Lee Ann
I must have been 6 or so, but a wanderer came into our church and we welcomed him. I was fascinated by him, but cautious. At the summer church ice cream social, I saw my father give him some money – I thought it was $20 – a lot at that time. Even if it was only $5, I remember the act of respecting this homeless man and my dad helping him out. That’s stayed with me 50+ years. So I guess that’s why I give a couple dollars to the man on the corner on Sunday morning. Maybe that’s why I enjoy my job raising funds for a great institution. I’m blessed..blessed to give.
We are blessed to give! Isn’t it amazing how observing our parents at a young age makes such a strong impression. It took one observation, and it has impacted you for a lifetime! How it’s modeled really matters. Thanks for your input, Bliss.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on giving, Lee Ann. I don’t remember much about what my parents taught me about giving, as we didn’t attend church on a regular basis. However, in the most recent five years or so I have been drawn to giving as a way of expressing my dependence on God. When I feel a tug on my heart to give “above and beyond” my tithe, I do my best to be obedient – although I have to be honest and say that I often try to rationalize why that “gift” just isn’t in the budget. What I forget is that my budget is also God’s, and that he never asks me to give that which he has not provided… because he has provided it all and will continue to provide that which I need. As a once-single mom of four, I can remember the provision that God provided for my children and me through the financial gifts of many people – some of which chose to give to us anonymously. I remember hoping that God would use me someday the way he used others in my life at that time – and the blessings I’ve reaped as a result of allowing him to care for others through me have far outweighed any gift I’ve ever been given. Little or much, what matters most is that we give – of our money, our time, and our gifts. After all, aren’t we created to be one body and serve each other?
Blessings!
We are created to serve and care for one another! It is so true that God is not going to ask us to give what He hasn’t already provided – or will provide. That is where our trust in God is so important. I have never felt “short” in my budget for giving when He has revealed who I should give to. It is always the case that we can never outgive God! The joy of it is overwhelming to me.
Blessings and Hugs,
Lee Ann
Walt Rosenbaum said: By example. My parents where the most unselfish people I have ever known. They gave of themselves, their time, their resources, all that they had and never once looked for any return. I think it is tied to the fact that they were also the most loving people I ever know.
Walt, Isn’t it the truth that there is no better way to learn giving than to see it modeled so lovingly?! I am going to bet without knowing your parents that they were not only the most loving people you knew, but they also had a huge faith and trust in God to give as freely as they did. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong! Blessings, Lee Ann
Linda Dill wrote: Another “home run”!!!
Deb Baymiller shared: Thanks, Lee Ann, for providing the opportunity to be notified when a new blog is posted. I always enjoy reading what you are sharing, which also provides an opportunity for me to think about what I do or believe.
I’ve been enjoying your blogs on giving. I was so blessed to take Financial Peace several years ago and took some time to get my finances in better shape. After about a year, I started tithing. And, now that I’m married, Kris and I both tithe. It’s amazing what God provides! He gives back so much more than we could imagine — and not just provide for our financial needs but our day-to-day hope, joy, companionship, strength, guidance, etc. He gives us so much more than we give!
Many blessings to you for sharing so much of yourself! I look forward to future blogs!
Love,
Deb Baymiller
Hi, Deb!
THANK YOU so much for not only helping me streamline the administration of this blog, but for sharing YOUR story on the joy of obedience when you started to tithe. I am collecting stories on giving/tithing, etc, so I hope it is OK to keep yours on file. I may ask other questions later, but thanks for sharing it. In fact, I am going to transfer it to the blog site so that others will be blessed and encouraged to give their tithe!
Love and Blessings,
Lee Ann
Barbara Childers wrote: I really ejoy reading your blogs because it makes me think about what I am doing.
Harry Jones wrote: HI LEE ANN,
JUST READ YOUR LATEST BLOG – EXCELLENT. YOU WRITE WELL.
THE SUMMER AFTER MY JUNIOR YEAR AT JEFFERSON HIGH SCHOOL, WHEN I HAD ALREADY BEEN SELECTED TO LATER RECEIVE A UT FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP, I WAS OFFERED A CONSTRUCTION JOB. THE OWNER AND THE ONE WHO RAN THE BUSINESS HAD PLAYED FOOTBALL FOR UT/AUSTIN. HE ALSO HIRED THE TWO JEFF SENIORS WHO ALSO HAD FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIPS FROM UT. I TITHED MY WEEKLY CHECKS. AT THE END OF THE SUMMER, THE OWNER GAVE ME AN EXTRA WEEK’S PAYCHECK BECAUSE I HAD WORKED A LOT HARDER THAN THE OTHER TWO.THE AMOUNT OF THAT CHECK WAS EQUAL, TO THE DOLLAR, TO THE SUM OF ALL MY TITHES!!!!!!! YOU CAN SEE WHY I HAVE BEEN A RABID TITHER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
LOVE, THE DAD
Murlene Johnston wrote: My daughter, Laraine, was reminiscing yesterday how we parents tithed when she was a child: that the tithe was broken down so that every member of our family (possibly only 4 at that time; parents & 2 children) shared in giving the tithe by each person putting a certain amount in four separate envelopes to give to the Church.
Cheers,
Murlene