Category Archives: Main page

the main page

9.2.13 God Doesn’t Send People to Hell

   There is nothing more satisfying than reading a verse in the Bible that tackles a false idea about God. I want to share a verse to help anyone avoiding a relationship with God because they can’t embrace how a “loving God would send people to hell.” I have great news. He is a loving God, AND He doesn’t send people to hell. Here is the verse: 

“Then He (Jesus) will say to those on His left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” 

Matthew 25:41 (NIV) 

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/adventtr

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/adventtr

   Why was hell created? The verse above clearly states that hell was intended for the devil and his angels. So how do people go to hell? They choose to associate with the devil.  

   One of God’s greatest gifts to every human being was free will. He doesn’t force us to love Him. What kind of love relationship would it be if He made us love Him? That would make us robotic. God created us because He desires a relationship with each of us for eternity, and He designed our hearts accordingly. Eccl 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”  

   The essence of God is love. I John 4:8 says, “God IS love.” He unconditionally loves everyone He has created, but this truth may be clouded by stories of God in the Old Testament, in which He appears unloving. However, you can discern a pattern that when His children became stubborn and rebellious, God called them to repent and by choice, they refused. God is a just and fair God. The consequences came after God gave them warnings. If you’ve parented, you’ve done the same when your child was defiant and rebellious. And you loved your children enough to discipline them to help them make better choices in the future.  

   So how are people making a choice to spend their eternity in hell? The people I know who aren’t Christians aren’t consciously saying, “I am choosing to associate with the devil.” But here’s the problem. When they refuse to acknowledge that they are sinners in need of forgiveness and then refuse Jesus as their Savior, who died for them, they have made an active choice to associate with the devil and his angels.  

   Refusal has different looks. Some people are ignoring the issue of where they will spend eternity. It’s easier not to think about it. Others are discounting the significance of what it means to live in hell for eternity. I hear people joke about having parties there. Weeping and gnashing of teeth in a lake of fire is not a party. Some disbelieve that there is a hell, but make no mistake, Jesus talks about hell more than He does about heaven. It is a real place! Some are delaying their decision thinking they have plenty of time to figure this out, but none of us know that we have tomorrow. Then there’s the group of people who rationalize they are “good people” and are convinced they are going to heaven based on their charitable view of themselves. The bible is clear on their wrong thinking. Romans 3:12 says, “There is no one who does good, not even one.” The hardest ones to reach are those who are complacent. They believe they don’t “need” God, so even if they believe there is a God, they choose to be self-reliant while paying lip service to God. Yet they have never acknowledged to Jesus, who died for them, that they are sinners in need of His forgiveness.  

   God continues to strictly honor free will. If you have avoided entering into a love relationship with Christ, then understand that when Judgment Day comes, He will simply affirm the choice you freely made. He is not casting you to hell because He is “unloving.” The good news is that it’s not too late to make the most important decision you will ever make in this life! Can you own that you are a sinner? If you’ve ever told a lie, or cheated, or lusted, or disobeyed your parents, for example, then you are a sinner like me. Rom 3:23 says, “For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Do you understand that Jesus was the only One who paid the consequences of your sin by taking your place on the cross? Now this is a loving God who would take your place! Let me reinforce His love for you with the following verses: 

   “For God so loved the world (you), that He gave His only Son (Jesus), that whosoever (you) believes upon Him (Jesus) shall not perish, but have eternal life (in heaven).” John 3:16 

   “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.” Isa 54:10 

   “If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Rom 8:3. 

   If you are still an unbeliever, and you know in your heart that you’re a sinner in need of forgiveness, Jesus is waiting for your confession of this and your request for Him to be your Lord and Savior. Your prayer can be this simple: “Lord, I know I am a sinner. I am asking you to forgive me for all the ways I have sinned against you. I accept that Jesus took my place on the cross to pay the penalty of my sin. I am choosing this day to accept you, Jesus, as my Lord and Savior and to follow you the best way I know how for the remaining days of my life.” 

   Many of you who subscribe to this blog are devoted Christians, so you already knew the above. But we all have family and friends who need to re-evaluate their thinking to make sure they don’t unwittingly choose to associate with the devil and his angels. After all, hell was intended for them.  

   Would you please share this or forward this post to those who struggle with the idea that a “loving God wouldn’t send people to hell?” May God bless those of you who will take the extra step to use this post to reach lost souls for Christ. 

 

Blessings,                                                                                                              Lee Ann

8.16.13 Donilee Found “Happy” in Happy Birthday!

   My mother was a fantastic cook, and every year when it was time to celebrate my birthday, she asked me what I wanted for my special birthday meal. My favorite was a tangy, lemon-pepper chicken with crispy skin and baked acorn squash with butter and brown sugar that spilled onto the plate. But my absolute favorite part of the meal was my birthday cake. My mother made the best chocolate sheath cake with pecans. It was always moist and straight out of the oven, a true melt-in-your-mouth experience. I loved it, but most of all, I loved being treated like a princess and feeling cherished on my birthday.

   Unfortunately, not everyone experienced happy birthdays as a child. Donilee didn’t. If you’ve followed previous posts, you know that Donilee grew up in an Old Order Amish family. The Amish upheld certain values that downplayed birthdays. They believed that celebrating them was a form of vanity and not considered godly. They also believed that spending money on gifts was wasteful. In Donilee’s house gifts were chosen for their use value. When her birthday arrived, her family did nothing to make it special. Furthermore, she had to share her birthday with her younger brother, Ronnie, who was born on August 16th, the same day as her. Ronnie received most of the attention.

 

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/JonathanLesage

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/JonathanLesage

   The August days were long, and Donilee’s whole family worked on the farm until dark before coming in for dinner. The typical celebration started after supper, which was often after 8:30. After supper, their parents brought out one birthday cake with both their names on it and gave a gift to each child. Donilee received a hair brush one year. Another year she got a linoleum rug for her bedroom.

   Donilee dreamed of a pair of jeans. If other girls in her classroom were allowed to wear jeans, why couldn’t she? Donilee was required to wear dark, shapeless dresses that her mother made for her. She hated them. They got in the way when she tried to climb fences and more so when she mounted a horse. Amish women were prohibited from showing their ankles, so mounting a horse modestly in a long dress was close to impossible. Donilee made it a mission to change that.

   Early one summer, prior to her twelfth birthday, she read through the Sears catalog, which she LOVED. It opened her eyes to everything imaginable: shovels, hoes, combines, nails, hinges, and other farm implements. It gave her a window to the world outside of the Amish community. Her favorite section of the catalog featured Jeans. She envied the girls who could wear pants, and she always felt that her brothers were lucky to get to wear jeans. She developed a plan to order a pair of jeans, saving her coins from candling and washing eggs.

   Donilee knew that when the new catalog arrived, the old one was relegated to the outhouse as toilet paper. She knew her parents wouldn’t miss an old order form, so she tore it out of the catalog and saved it. After carefully measuring herself for waist, length, and inseam, she addressed a big envelope from her grandfather’s desk and carefully enclosed her coins with the order form and mailed it. She was so excited! She was finally going to own jeans and be able to do the wonderful things the boys could do. She would be able to climb trees and ride the horses without worrying about showing her ankles. She felt powerful.

   Donilee sneaked down the long lane from her house trying not attract the attention of her family while she waited near the mailbox. She stood guard from behind a bush for two weeks because she couldn’t take the chance that someone else would discover her package. The special day arrived. The postman placed the package in the large mail box. As soon as he left, she ran to get her jeans, leaving the rest of the mail in the box. She ran up the lane as fast as she could and entered the large red barn behind the house. She went straight to the straw mound, her secret hiding place in the barn, and opened her package.

   There they were! Her shiny, dark blue jeans arrived, and she couldn’t wait to try them on. This was a new experience for her. She wasn’t expecting them to feel tight or to have to suck in her tummy to zip the fly, but she didn’t care. What mattered was that she had jeans. While she got accustomed to how they felt, a thought occurred to her. Where am I going to wear them? The answer came quickly. The horses wouldn’t know the difference.

   Donilee wore the jeans under her long skirt, hiding them. She rode horses every day in the far back field where no one could see her. After chores and supper were done, she would slip out to the barn, find her burlap bag containing her tightly rolled up jeans in the straw mound, and put them on under her skirt. She had set up hay bales in a line to practice barrel racing, going in and out between the bales in tight figure eights as fast as she could. Riding horses with her jeans gave her great pleasure throughout the summer. In order not to be caught, she avoided dismounting her horse close to the house. But one evening she wasn’t so careful. She was on her horse when she rode past her mother. Her jeans showed clearly against the top of her brogans in the stirrups.

   “Get off that horse now,” her mother directed. “What is it that you’re wearing, Donilee?”

   “Nothing, Ma’am,” Donilee replied. “I was just exercising the horse, Mother.”

   “Don’t ever lie to me, Donilee,” her mother said sternly. “Put that horse away and come into the house. And bring that garment with you. Your father must be told about this.” Her mother turned and stormed toward the house. Donilee returned the horse to the barn, took off her jeans, and entered the house.

   “Sit here, Donilee,” her mother said, pointing to a wooden stool in the corner. “You will wait until your father returns.” When her father finally arrived, her mother flew into him.

   “Your daughter has been wearing pants. Boys’ pants! Under her skirts. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this. I just don’t understand her queer ways. I think she is queer now with those jeans. I’ve tried to rear her right and show her how to dress and behave, yet she mocks me. What if someone saw her?! I can’t take any more of this.” Her mother ran out of breath and stood staring at her father. Her father approached Donilee and took the jeans and held them up.

   “What is this, Donilee? Where did you get these? Who gave them to you?” her father asked.

   “I bought them with my own money from the Sears catalog,” Donilee said, almost defiantly. While her father examined the jeans, she grew angry. “It’s not fair! My brothers get to wear pants. They can ride and climb and do their chores much easier than I can. Skirts get in the way. They are heavy and they get dirty…” She would have continued, but her father interrupted her.

   “Where were you hiding the jeans? When were you wearing them?” he asked angrily. Donilee told him everything.

   “I cannot stand this child any longer,” her mother began. “Her behavior is unacceptable. How can I hold up my head in public? What if the neighbors had seen her?”

   “It will be all right, LoisAnn. I will take care of it,” he said as he put his arm around her shoulders. “Donilee, go to your room.”

   Donilee tried to take her jeans as she left for her room, but her father grabbed them. A few minutes later, she heard her father’s footsteps as he neared her room. As soon as he walked in, he took off his belt. He grabbed her shoulder and held her tightly so she couldn’t move. “Whap!” She felt the sting of his belt across her back. He kept whaling away with the belt while tears streamed down her face. Donilee stayed strong on the inside. She didn’t want to give him the pleasure of making her cry. Finally it was over. Her father quietly put his belt on. “You are shunned,” he said.

   When August 16th arrived, four weeks later – the birthday she shared with her brother – the family ate together, but did not include Donilee in their conversation. When her mother brought out the birthday cake, Ronnie’s was the only name on it. She was crushed. No one spoke to her, nor did they give her a gift. She was non-existent to her family.

   Donilee’s intense pain has not lessened over the years. She hated birthday cake from that day forward. She was so hurt by her family that she has refused to celebrate her birthday with cake for the last 50 years – until this year.

   Donilee became a Christian on April 7th, which is when she chose to be adopted and join the family of God. She has experienced His love and acceptance like she’s never experienced before. God has been transforming her heart and has helped her to be more open about her story. She now shares her past without feeling shame. Instead, she experiences healing because she is surrounded by her loving Christian family who pours out their love for her.

   Today is Donilee’s birthday. Upon her request, she is letting me celebrate with her favorite birthday cake, a chocolate mayonnaise cake! She agreed to let me take her to lunch and bring her the birthday cake. She didn’t know I was planning a surprise birthday party with the women from our Sunday School class.

   Twenty three ladies showed up for Donilee’s surprise birthday party. We wanted her to experience an outpouring of our love for her within her new family of God. We wanted her to know what it was like to be treated like a princess. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would prepare her heart for all of the love she was going to receive because we knew it might overwhelm her. She has never asked for attention, so we prayed that the Lord would help her to receive our love and affection for her. After all, she is our sister! We committed to create a happy memory with her favorite cake with people who love, respect, and adore her on her first birthday as a Christian. We desire to be the healthy family she’s always wanted. Praise God that He has brought healing in her heart to be open to this! Donilee found the “Happy” in Happy Birthday: 

Donilee's Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

Donilee’s Chocolate Mayonnaise Cake

 

From the Rinehart family to the ROYAL family

From the Rinehart family to the ROYAL family

 Happy Birthday, Donilee! You are LOVED, Sister!

This post was written with the permission and blessing of Donilee.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

8.5.13 Overcoming the Ultimate Rejection: Donilee’s Story

   Many of you read my June posts in which I shared the high points of Donilee’s story ending with her acceptance of Christ. Since I wrote my last post, Donilee has shared more of her story, which I am in turn sharing here. I want you to appreciate the significance of her adoption by our perfect Father in heaven. All she ever wanted was her family’s acceptance, and all she ever received was their rejection. Having asked to be adopted as His child and then receiving His unconditional love and acceptance was monumental.  

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/annedehaas

Photo Courtesy of ©IStockphoto.com/annedehaas

   Donilee grew up on a farm in an Old Order Amish family. She learned quickly to not question the Amish rules. When she asked her parents why they lived a certain way, they considered it an insult and shunned her, thinking that she would repent. But she didn’t know what it meant to repent, so her parents didn’t see any change in her thinking. When she observed people driving cars, she asked whether they were “riding buggies on purpose.” Her parents told her to stop asking questions. 

   Donilee recognized her family was mentally ill. After enduring sexual abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse, her deepest desire was to leave both the farm and Indiana. She accomplished this at age 17 with the help of her grandmother who helped her enlist in the Navy. Donilee left behind her parents, two younger brothers, and her sister, Melissa, who was fourteen years younger than her. She never wanted to see them again, even though she still longed for their acceptance. 

   Donilee spent the next fifteen years in South Carolina finishing her college education and teaching school without allowing anyone in her family to know where she lived. She chose to live without a phone so her family couldn’t reach her. She was afraid of them. She thought they might try to find her and hurt her in some way. One day the State Police knocked on her door.  

   “You have to return home,” the police said after she opened the door.

   “Home?? Where is home?” Donilee asked incredulously.

   “There has been a death in your family. Your family needs you to come home for the funeral,” they answered.

   The State Trooper couldn’t tell her who died, but Donilee assumed it was her ailing mother. Donilee was perplexed by her family’s desire to notify her. After fifteen years of no contact, why would her family, who rejected her, work so hard to find her? 

   Donilee packed her bags and headed to Indiana for the funeral. When she arrived at her parents’ home, she found them surrounded by extended family members. Her parents didn’t recognize her. Donilee felt embarrassed because she knew many of the family members in the room, but they had no idea who she was. Awkwardness filled the room. Francis, a family friend, broke the silence.

   “LoisAnn, isn’t that your daughter Donilee?” Francis asked.

   “Really? Is that her?” her Mother responded.

   LoisAnn looked puzzled and dismayed. She didn’t attempt to stand up or to greet her. Instead, she stared at Donilee and went back to her conversation. Donilee realized for the first time that she didn’t exist to her family anymore.

   Donilee left the house and went across the field to stay with her grandmother, Margaret, who shared the news that Melissa had died in a car accident. 

   “Where did the accident happen?” Donilee asked.

   “Melissa’s town friend was driving too fast on a back gravel road. She got to the “S” curve in front of the farmhouse with the two large trees and lost control,” Margaret said, pointing to the spot. “The car didn’t have seatbelts, so when she hit the tree, she flew into it head first. Her long hair is still caught in the bark of the tree. I need your help in removing it.”

   Donilee did the morbid task that Margaret asked her to do. While she was removing the hair from the bark, it occurred to her that Melissa was like her, sneaking out to meet her town friends behind her parents’ back. She had milking chores to do and had to be back at the farm by 3:30, or she would have been in trouble. She was probably running late when the accident occurred. Donilee finished her task, setting Melissa’s hair on a napkin, leaving Margaret to decide whether or not to preserve it.

   Donilee returned to her parents’ house the next morning. Her parents called her into the kitchen. Melissa’s death triggered a review of the family trust. When Melissa died, her portion of the trust could be distributed to the parents. Because Donilee was listed in the trust and her parents wanted her out of it, they requested her signature to remove her. Donilee now understood the real reason her parents sent the state police after her. Her parents believed that Donilee didn’t deserve her share. Donilee could not say no to her parents. She believed if she signed these papers, they would finally accept her. So she did. She was willing to do anything to gain their acceptance. 

   Melissa’s burial service was later that day. Many family members and friends gathered at the farm with food to share. Donilee watched her mother in the throes of grief as she wept and wailed uncontrollably. She heard her mother cry repeatedly, “It shouldn’t have been Melissa.” Donilee’s grief was different. She didn’t understand how her mother could miss her sister so much, considering how little her mother cared for her. 

   It was time to head out for the burial service. The burial site was on the church property close to their house. As family members walked up the hill from the farm to bury Melissa, Donilee overheard two cousins trying to identify her.

   “Who is she?” the first one quietly asked.

   “That’s Melissa’s sister – the other sister,” whispered the second cousin.

   “What sister??” 

   “That’s the older sister.” 

   “I didn’t know there was an older sister.” 

   Donilee felt deep sadness. She realized that no one thought or talked about her among her family. No one cared about her. They “buried” her a long time ago, treating her as if she were dead. Donilee felt like she had stepped into a timeframe where she didn’t belong.

   After the burial service, the family gathered for supper. Her mother stood beside Donilee and reached out to touch Donilee’s arm. Donilee knew there was something behind this gesture because this was the first time her mother had ever attempted to touch her, other than to beat her in the middle of the night.

   “Donilee, why don’t you come back and take your sister’s place?” suggested her mother. “You can have her room and her clothes,” she offered.

   Donilee was stunned. The only way to be accepted in the family was to take Melissa’s place. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. She had a lump in her throat that prevented her from responding. She felt nauseated having learned from Margaret the previous night that Melissa was having an incestuous love affair with her father. “Taking her place” meant more than taking care of her parents. Of course, her mother thought she was giving Donilee the gift of acceptance and a wonderful opportunity to come home. Donilee heard it as a sentence to the past.

   Donilee’s knot in her throat remained. She was afraid. If she said “no,” they might get violent. Her parents left the kitchen to a room nearby while the question lingered unanswered. Donilee went to get a glass of water, but while doing so, she overheard her mother, “Why couldn’t it have been Donilee?” her mother said. Donilee could not believe what she heard! This was the ultimate rejection. She was emotionally reeling, but the picture was clear. The only way she would be accepted in her family was to agree to be a surrogate. She would have to become Melissa and lose herself to gain a family who spent years shunning her. That was a heavy price to pay for a disloyal family who didn’t love her. Donilee had no desire to go back to a father who abused her. How could she? Donilee knew it was time to pack her bags and return home. She was never going to be accepted there.

   How did Donilee overcome ongoing rejection from her family? “I will do for you what you can’t do for yourself,” God told her in a dream. “You are a new person. Let go of your past and start your life tonight. I will be there for you,” God assured her. Donilee knew that this was her second chance to have a better life. God told her not to mess it up because in His family, she could be happy, joyous, and free.

   Donilee’s encounter with God and her decision for Christ have changed her life forever. She had spent 21 years searching for God in AA, which she described as looking for God in all the wrong places. It took her a long time to discover that God loved her in ways she didn’t know she could be loved. When Donilee experienced God’s love and care, she learned how to love herself. She said, “Before I knew Christ, I felt dead on the inside. Feeling alive is one of the greatest gifts God has given me.” For the first time, she knows she is a precious child of her Father. Her Father cherishes her. Her Father adores her. Her Father takes care of her. Her Father never leaves her. Her Father protects her. Her Father provides for her. I couldn’t be happier for Donilee!

   Donilee overcame the pain of rejection by trusting God’s unconditional love and acceptance. If you’re scarred by rejection, there is hope. Donilee’s story in overcoming rejection can be your story. How do you begin? Trust God at His word. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Reach out to God by telling Him what’s on your heart and how you need Him. He is listening to every word. You have a heavenly Father who adores you. He deeply loves you. You are a beautiful creation who was made in His image. Your heavenly Father is the safest relationship you will have for eternity. Proverbs 8:17 says, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” Proverbs 8:35 says, “For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord.” Trust Him at His word!

   I am asking all readers to pray that the Spirit will help someone you know who has been emotionally wounded by rejection to seek the Lord and discover His unconditional love and acceptance for them. In the meantime, please know that Donilee experiences healing when she tells her story and learns that people are touched by it. She reads our encouraging comments, which is our grace gift to her.

This post was written with the permission and blessing of Donilee.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

 

 

 

7.20.13 Stop Wasting Precious Time!

     If you knew that God would provide you all the financial resources, surround you with the right people, and give you all the wisdom you need to make one positive change in our world, what change would you make?

    I want to change people’s mindset about giving. I want them to see that God has called us to give generously while we’re alive. I believe our culture is wrongly caught up with how to hand off inheritances in tax efficient ways. We should focus on how to share God’s resources generously right now. When I read God’s promises to those who give generously and the joy that comes of it, I conclude that most of us are missing the boat.

    I want to write a book on “living giving.” But as soon as I articulate that desire, the noise between my ears gets louder. How can I even embrace the goal to write a book when I struggle to publish blog posts?! I feel more frustrated with writing than not. When I look at the time and resources I invest to sharpen my writing skills and how hard it is to produce quality content twice a month, I ask myself, “Who are you kidding? You really think you can write a book?” When I feel discouraged as a writer, my confidence wanes that I can write a book that people will want to read.

     Do you know what keeps me going? I believe God has given me a biblically based, life-changing message around giving, and book is the most effective vehicle to communicate it. Quitting is not an option! I need to figure out how to write my book in a way that inspires people and motivates them to make the paradigm shift from leaving behind resources at death, to “living giving,” the biblical model Jesus has given us. I want to show people how they can leverage the principle of compounding, especially when a young family member has so much investment time on his side. I want people to learn how to think outside the box and be creative about how to give with the resources God has already entrusted to them. This is how I want to impact the world.

     What about you? How do you want to change the world? Do you have noise between your ears? Do you question whether or not you can change the world? It might be a new invention. It might be a persuasive idea. It might be a better model to deliver care to someone. In The Purpose Driven Life, author Rick Warren shares the acronym, SHAPE, to determine how God ordained us to make a difference in His world:

     S – Spiritual Gifts – What are your spiritual gifts?

     H – Heart – What is your passion? What do you love to do?

     A – Abilities – What are your God-given abilities, aptitudes, skillsets, special training, etc?

     P – Personality – Where does my personality best suit me to serve?

     E – Experiences – What life experiences have I had that I can use to make a difference for others?

     If you’re wondering how you can positively change the world, ask yourself, “What is my S.H.A.P.E.?” Rick Warren says, “Your ministry will be most effective and fulfilling when you use your gifts and abilities in the area of your heart’s desire in a way that best expresses your personality and experience.”

    When I’m tempted to quit, I am reminded that God has given me a “SHAPE” for the passion of “living giving.” I want to show you how little it takes to change lives through Roth IRAs or 529 plans. I want to show you how you can use life insurance by gifting premium for a family member. There are other ideas to illustrate “living giving.”

     I don’t have to worry about the financial resources this might entail because God owns it all. He knows how to provide what I need financially. I also don’t need to worry about finding wisdom. James 1:5 invites us to ask God to give us “generous portions of wisdom,” and He will supply it. In the end God has given each of us a “S.H.A.P.E” that He wants us to use to change His world. He is the one who has given you the passion, so He will supply all that you need to accomplish it. It’s time to stop listening to the noise between our ears and stop wasting time that could be spent making a difference now.

     How do you want to change the world? If you’re not sure, assess your S.H.A.P.E. and see what God may be preparing for you to do. Eph 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God has prepared in advance for us to do.

 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

7.7.13 How Couples Can Reach Agreement to Get to a Ten Percent Tithe

     Some Christian couples don’t agree on how much to tithe to their church. I occasionally hear from a wife whose heart hurts because she knows she and her husband aren’t enjoying the blessings God promises to those who give a minimum of ten percent. I hear frustration when the wife describes putting in the offering plate an insignificant amount that isn’t close to ten percent of what they make. Or the wife is given an allowance for discretionary spending, and she would rather tithe it to please God than spend it on herself.

     I feel their anguish. I would feel miserable if I was short-changing God on the tithe each week. I wish there was a pat answer, but there’s not. The core issue is lack of trust in God’s Word to us. The resistant spouse does not believe in God’s clearly stated promises to those who give. Second, the Holy Spirit ultimately brings about the heart change needed in the resistant spouse. I have discovered a few ideas that you might try while the Spirit does His work.

     Randy Alcorn, a Christian pastor and author, offers these suggestions. Let’s assume that both spouses are Christians and that the wife wants to give, and the husband is resistant. Let’s also stick with the Old Testament teaching on tithing to keep it simple, which is ten percent. (The New Testament says we’re to give in proportion to what God gives us. See 2 Cor 8:12-15.) The following Scripture passages contain God’s powerful promises for those who give:

     Malachi 3:10 “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”

     Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

     First, Alcorn suggests that couples review these two passages and determine a trial period (three months, six months, or a year) to tithe a minimum of ten percent. They agree to “test God.” At the end of the trial period, they should process the experience. They might ask How did God bless us during this trial period? Did we miss His resources by giving ten percent? How did it feel to obey God and know that we were still able to pay the bills? Would we be open to setting another trial period to make sure this wasn’t coincidence that we’re still OK?

     Let’s assume that both spouses generate an income. Tell your husband that obeying God in the area of giving is important to you and that you believe you are missing out on His blessings by not tithing. Ask him if he would honor your need to give out of your income only, while you’re honoring his decision to not tithe on his income. If the wife chooses to work in the home, then she should ask her spouse permission to give something, even if it’s only $50. She can negotiate with him by agreeing to spend less discretionary income as a sacrifice to give to the Lord. She can also choose to tithe all of the allowance.

     Alcorn also recommends a process for couples to determine how much to give through prayer. This can be done at the time they build their annual budget. Here are the steps he suggests:

  1. Establish a prayer period in which each spouse asks God what percentage of their income to tithe (several days, one or two weeks).
  2. At the end of the prayer period, each spouse records on an index card the percentage they believe God shared with them.
  3. After reviewing the cards, decide if you’re going to start with the lower percentage or the higher percentage. If the percentage came out the same, then praise God!

     This process can be a springboard to increase annual giving until you reach the minimum of ten percent. You can also agree in advance that whatever percentage increase you receive in your salary will be reflected in your tithing.

     What if the husband’s resistance is so strong that he won’t budge on giving? Alcorn quotes I Peter 3:1-6, which instructs the wife to be submissive to her husband. You shouldn’t give money that he has forbidden you to give. However, be encouraged because the Lord knows your heart. He knows that you would gladly give ten percent if you could, and God will reward your heart attitude.

     Can you add some insights or ideas to help spouses who aren’t being given the freedom to tithe the minimum amount to the church? What can you share that will encourage them? 

Blessings,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Lee Ann