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11.7.09 Life is Short

I struggle with procrastination more than I care to admit.  There is so much more I want to do for God.  Yet, every day I wake up, I realize I am now one day closer to meeting my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.  Stated differently, when I wake up each day, I realize that I have one less day to make a difference for Him, which equates to another lost opportunity that can’t be retrieved to do more for Him.  After all, the number of days that have been allotted for each of us has already been ordained before we ever came into being according to Psalm 139:16.  Life on this earth is short, and He has given us an opportunity to give our lives back to Him and partner with Him to make a difference in His kingdom.  I am always impacted by I Cor 6:19-20 that says, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own.  You were bought at a great price.  Therefore honor God with your body.”  I have always internalized this as “Well, if I was bought at a great price and Christ was willing to take my place on the cross, the least I could do out of gratitude is give my life right back to Him so He can use me with the gifts He’s given me.”

This struggle has been accentuated over the last 12 months as I have watched young people fight for their lives against cancer.  One friend has lost the battle (Lori Peister), while one whom I continue to pray for has been in a tough battle for nearly a year (Dennis Dick), and one who just got diagnosed with brain cancer and had brain surgery last Tuesday after going to the ER for an unmanageable “migraine” on Sunday (Eric Walton) is getting ready to do battle.  Life is so short and truly unpredictable.  That’s not news.  The bible says in James 4:13-14, “You who say, ‘today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city,  spend a year there, carry on business and make money.  Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’”  You and I really don’t know that we have tomorrow unless the Lord allows us to wake in the morning.  We all see these situations on a regular basis, and I think to myself, this could be me just as easily as it could be you in these situations.  Cancer and illnesses are not a respecter of people.  Some of you can already identify with this kind of battle as God has healed you and extended your earthly life by His grace.  I would bet my life savings that it changed your life and the priorities you have in a positive way.  Many cancer survivors will say “appreciate the life you have and live each day to the fullest”, or many will consistently say, “we are too wrapped up in things that don’t matter. “  Without fail, survivors seem to have a much stronger appreciation for the gift of life than those of us who have not (yet) faced life-threatening challenges, and they live life more fully in the presence of God than they ever had before.

So here is my frustration.  Exactly what does it take for me to quit wasting time and/or procrastinating and really pursue the passion God has given me to be a better bible study teacher and be a better student of the bible so that I can reach more people for Christ and facilitate the growth of those who are already believers?  How much more motivation do I really need to get going? How much more sickness do I need to see?  How many more days am I going to squander before I finally get moving?  I have only been dwelling on this passion for the last 3 years and have for the last 3 years found ways to keep it on the back burner.  It’s time to step it up a notch and take the gift of life and live it as fully as I know how with the passion and gifts He’s already given me and just build on it.  After all, I don’t know when I will be called home.  My days could be alot shorter than I think.  Presuming that I will live a long life is a faulty assumption.  I don’t know that I will get to live a long life.  The unknown number of days that I really have should be more motivation to get started. 

If you have made it this far, I would simply ask that you pray for me.  I need to tag what my real resistance is to move forward.  I really want to be more effective for Him and really sharpen my spiritual gift of teaching and impact more people.  Jer 29:11-12 should be further motivation as He promises me (and you) a hope and a future He has already laid out for me.  It’s time to experience what He has laid out for me in advance and get going because life is short. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

10.1.09 God’s Love Pursues

God is love.  That is the essence of who God is.  He functions completely out of the vein of love toward each of us.  I know you already know that.  But let me share how this truth has been awakened in me in a fresh new way over the last month or so.

For the first time in my Christian walk over the last 38 years, I have been led by God to become an intercessor for a particular individual I know on a limited basis since mid-March, and I have been praying for this individual and their family on a daily basis without fail.  It has been a complete joy and privilege to be able to pray for this family in their professional work as well as their personal life.  Don’t ask me why I started to pray for them.  I can only tell you that a desire was deeply planted in my heart for no apparent reason.  I can only conclude that God has a special anointing on this family, and I have the privilege of partnering with God by undergirding them in prayer for whatever God is going to accomplish through them.  Though this individual knows that I am praying daily for them, they also know that they are not obligated to give me feedback, nor am I looking for applause as God gets the glory.

But here’s the dynamic going on.  If you have never experienced this, the natural by-product of praying for a family that you care about that you know on a limited basis is that your love for the people you are praying for just grows, which increases your curiosity as to how God is moving in their lives, which increases your desire to get to know them, which causes you to want to pursue a relationship with them to get to know them better.  Does this sound weird to you?  I attended a retreat back in August, and I shared this dynamic of a love that grows for the family I am praying for because it wasn’t feeling “normal” to me.  I needed a sounding board in case I was having “issues” around this!  (Heal thyself, counselor).  This pastor listened to me rationalize why I was praying for this family, and he kindly suggested that I quit rationalizing it so that it would make sense for my psyche.  He said, “What is happening is found in Rom 5:5, which says, ‘God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.’” Thus, what I am experiencing is “normal” (Praise The Lord!).  He also affirmed the joy that goes with this prayer ministry, and it is something I look forward to doing every day.  Only God knows why.

I decided to reach out to this individual by offering friendship to discern if God was wanting to accomplish more through a friendship, and what I discovered was a lack of interest because it would take time away from their own family or current friends.  Since I know this individual on a limited basis, their lack of interest was fine, but it hasn’t changed the love I feel for them.  So what do you do with this love?  As I have been pondering this, a light bulb turned on, and it occurred to me that this must be how God feels, who deeply loves us, when he pursues a love relationship with us, but we just stiff-arm Him and connect with Him when it fits our schedule, or (fill in the blank).  His heart must hurt when we show disinterest for whatever excuses we give.  Yet, our lack of interest doesn’t phase the depth of His love for us.  He is always pursuing you and me because of how much He loves us, and I wonder how long we are going to either run the other direction, or continue to keep Him at a distance.  I can’t think of a more stable and unconditional love relationship than with God Himself as His love never fails.   As I finish bending your ear, I am sitting here eternally grateful that “God is love” and out of His deep love for me never gives up pursuing me.  My prayer is that I would embrace Him fully and enjoy the love relationship He offers me.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

8.16.09 The Spiritual Gift of Prophecy

Please do not panic over the title.  I have not gone off the deep end, but I can’t wait to tell you what I experienced at an all day retreat at Camp Mary Dell just south of Abilene, Kansas, yesterday.  My spiritual mentor happens to be the senior pastor at Community Bible Church in Abilene, and he and I have stayed connected in our friendship through a leadership mentoring group that meets once a month.   At our last meeting he invited our group to attend a day retreat led by Pastor Brad Brinson, who pastors Two Rivers Church outside of Knoxville, TN, and who has the spiritual gift of prophecy, and he led it yesterday and really opened my eyes to how God wants to speak into our lives.  I left a changed person.

First, if you’re like me, we have a fuzzy idea about how this gift really functions in the church.  I don’t know of anyone in Hutchinson who professes to have this as their primary gift, but after yesterday’s retreat, I learned that there is a universal level for the gift of prophecy, which is simply  a means by which God chooses to speak into our lives for the purposes of strengthening, encouraging, comforting others, and edifying the church.  There is a universal level for it because in Acts 2:16-18 ALL will prophesy.  And in John 10:1-5, 26-27, ALL believers hear the voice of their shepherd.  This gift is meant to be experienced for and in the context of the church community.  There are probably a good number of believers with this gift, but because of fear of abuse or ridicule, they are not speaking up to share what God is trying to communicate for the purposes of strengthening, encouraging, comforting and edifying the church.  Pastor Brad made it very clear that this gift is not a “thus saith the Lord” with fingers pointing at you as if anyone had the corner of truth.  In fact, the bible tells us that we will only know things “in part” (I Cor 13:9).  You and I will only have a piece of the puzzle that needs to be tested and confirmed by others.  So the first change in me that I experienced is realizing that God speaks to ALL of us (not just some of us, or the pastor, or those with the specific gift of prophecy), and he wants to use us to speak into the lives of others in the church.  (We heard many accounts of how God used this gift in Pastor Brad’s life and in the church community, and it just gave us chills as to how God spoke His voice through multiple believers to speak into each other’s lives.)

Second, this retreat confirmed a phenomenon I have not experienced in my Christian walk until this year.  Many of us intercede in prayer for others because people ask for us to pray for them.  Or we choose to intercede on behalf of leaders in our country because the bible commands us to do so.  But I have to tell you that it wasn’t until March of this year that I experienced being called into the role of an intercessor on a daily basis for an individual and their family that has given me great joy and has been so much fun.  I have walked with the Lord for 38 years, and this strong burden to just start praying for this individual and family members is a first.  I have spent many months processing why I have had such a strong desire to pray for this person, and I have tried to rationalize it instead of just embracing that God has called me out to participate with him as he continues to anoint this very special family.  When I ran this phenomenon by our speaker, he immediately confirmed that I was being called out as an intercessor.  He has had this experience as well and could totally identify with this dynamic and the joy I am experiencing with it.  I left feeling not so weird!

Third, I left the retreat with a commitment to not let another powerful teaching register as good knowledge to store, but instead apply it as soon as possible and start risking with God and how He speaks to me and use the teachings of this retreat to step out in faith.  (For those who would like the talking points that were given to us at this retreat, you may simply ask me to email the pdf for your file.) My application began this AM.  Since I was already praying for this individual and family, I decided to use the order of worship where this person’s son-in-law just got installed as pastor and pray through each of the elements of worship while the worship service was going on.  It was one of the most powerful worship experiences I have had where tears began as soon as I started praying, and God gave me words of encouragement to share along with an image to share.  This is the exciting and the scary part.  I need to risk and share it and let this young pastor test it!  He doesn’t even know who I am, so those of you who feel inclined to pray, please pray that the Holy Spirit will go in advance of my email to prepare this pastor’s heart to receive it and be willing to submit it to the Lord to test it.  If I don’t risk, it will essentially be a form of disobedience, and I will never experience how God really wants us to use prayer to loose and bind things here on Earth.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

8.9.09 Soup Kitchen – I’m “In”

It was another Saturday afternoon from 4-5pm that my friend Barb and I showed up at the Soup Kitchen to continue to build our friendships with those in need.   No sooner did I step out of my car when Chad who has been filling me in on his life story couldn’t wait to give me an update.  We probably stood outside listening to his update for the first 10-15 minutes of our visit.  I can’t begin to tell you how touched I am by that.  He’s like all of us.  We all want a safe person we can talk to and know that the person we are talking to actually cares about our life and well being.

Once Chad had filled us in on the latest changes, we proceeded indoors to find our place at the table to continue our friendships with Bessie, Sonya, Judy, Jaz, and Tony.  Bessie with a few chuckles lovingly confronted us and asked, “Where have you been?” (I was gone playing in a golf tournament last weekend, but she was gone the two Saturdays prior.)  I bantered back and said, “What do you mean?  Where have you been?  I have only been gone once!”  She just smiled and couldn’t wait to share that her cataract surgery went well and could see so much better.  It was such a relief to have that behind her.

Celebrating Bessie's Birthday at IHOP

The last 15 minutes of my time with these dear people was taking alot of teasing from Bessie and her attempt to figure out my age because of my white hair.  She suggested I was 55 (I must say that was discouraging!) When I told her I was only 48, she took a much longer, harder look with her better eyes and decided I didn’t look as old as 55.  For those who know me well, you know I just had to give her a little bit of grief for it!  Once we got our ages established, she just looked at me and Barb and said, “You are really nice. Are you going to be here next Saturday?”  I sat there stunned and realized that after intermingling with these folks week after week that I was accepted as part of their community.  I’m “in”!  Life is good.  They haven’t asked me for a thing.  They just appreciate anyone who cares and who is “nice”.  I think that is what the Lord requires of us as we build relationships with others.  Genuinely care about others and be nice (treat others as you would want to be treated).  Pretty basic, huh?

Blessings,

Lee Ann

6.28.09 Life Nuggets from the Soup Kitchen

In-vis-i-ble (adj): 1. Not visible; that cannot be seen  2. Out of sight; not apparent  3. Too small or too faint to be seen; imperceptible; indistinct  4. Not publicized; kept hidden

Let me tell you where I am headed with the word “invisible”.  How many of us have come to a stop at a signal light where a poor person is holding a sign that says, “homeless-will work for food” and not even give eye contact to him or her?  How many of us when we are among crowds of people tend to avoid people who don’t look like us and don’t seem to fit our perceived socioeconomic class?  How many of us do that even inside the four walls of our own churches? 

People feel invisible when we act like they really don’t exist.  They feel invisible when we don’t even make eye contact with them.  They feel invisible when there is an impending encounter and we work hard to make sure an encounter doesn’t happen.  They feel invisible when we are socializing in a group situation and we don’t bother to engage them.  When the unspoken message to the underprivileged is that they are “invisible”, it is no wonder they have learned over the years to not even attempt eye contact with us.   

It has been about a month and a half that I have had the weekly opportunity to connect with the poor at the Soup Kitchen.  The joy of taking the time to sit with the poor is that they know they are not invisible at the Soup Kitchen.  These are precious creations of God who are loved just as much as any person God has created.  They know that they can be open, share their stories, get good eye contact, and build their friendships with others with similar struggles.  I am pleasantly surprised that they are letting me be a part of their community and are sharing their stories with me. 

As I continue to reflect on my experiences at the Soup Kitchen, I am finding myself challenged with whether I am treating anyone in my circle of influence as “invisible”.  Who am I avoiding because conversation with them is hard or they make me uncomfortable?  Who do I not make eye contact with?  It is my prayer that I am not ignoring the very people God has purposely placed in my circle of influence.  He has placed them in my circle for a reason, and it is up to me to make sure I am building bridges to them for the cause of Christ.

Blessings,

Lee Ann