Tag Archives: Obedience

8.8.12 Take My Life and Let It Be Consecrated to Thee

     I have the privilege of sharing an email I received today by permission of the author, Alicia Smith.  Alicia is a dear sister in Christ whom I’ve known since living in Hutchinson, KS. She has a great love for the Lord and a heart for people.  There are times she will send a significant spiritual reflection that is refreshingly raw.  It’s an unreserved outpouring from her heart; but more importantly, it is an outpouring of the Holy Spirit through Alicia’s heart.  This is what she shared today, and I just felt a need to publish this because her message resonates with me. How often do we ask the Lord to help us hear His voice, and yet when He clearly speaks, we are not obeying Him? 

Take My Life and Let It Be Consecrated to Thee

      The Lord spoke something to me profound the other day as I was driving and listening to K-Love in the car.  The d.j.’s were talking about the shootings in Colorado and asking why this happened and how God could allow this if He is everything the Bible says He is.  People tend to say,  “Well I don’t know why. He allowed this to happen but He has a plan.” We are not outright blaming Him, but yet we really are.  The Lord distinctly then said to me, “Well why haven’t My people taken My light into the world and destroyed all the works of darkness?!!!?” 

      It caught me a little off guard to be honest, and I immediately repented.  In Genesis when He created man, He chose to give us the authority here on this earth, and He never violates His Word.  He has mandated that WE go out into all the world and take authority over all darkness and fill everything with His glory; His truth; His light.  It’s not us doing these things, but rather us allowing Him to work through us.  He could do this without us, but instead He chose to let us be a part of it and do it through us.  He has given us free will and ultimately will never force us to do anything; He won’t violate the free will He has given each of us.  He has a plan, but it requires our participation!!!!!!   

     If we as the church had been listening intently after Him every day and obeying what He had told us to do in each of our “circles of influence” in this life, then the man who shot those people in Colorado could have gotten the help he needed before he did what he did.  It’s a spiritual battle Ephesians says and not one of the flesh.  That man needed Jesus to set him free from his demons and the devil.  And only christians who know how to listen to the Holy Spirit can offer the help that man truly needed.  Jesus is walking in the flesh in each of US, so in order for Him to continue to heal and preach and teach as He did 2000 years ago, WE must learn how to listen after Him and obey without another passing thought.  It should just be how we live.  It’s truly the normal christian life as the Bible teaches us.  

     It’s really not about us at all, but rather about Him filling all of us with His magnificent glory.  That’s the end goal.  How awesome that He has allowed us to be a part of His plan, but yet what an awesome responsibility.  We will all on judgment day have to answer to Him.  May we learn these things NOW in this life, instead of in the next life as we stand before Him and weep at what could have been.  

Alicia Smith

3.16.12 Giving Had a Beginning

     There’s a difference between learning to give and desiring to give. Giving doesn’t happen overnight, nor does it happen naturally. When we are born, we have a default setting to possess things rather than to give.  As toddlers didn’t we all assume that whatever was in our possession was ours? Anyone who dared to take it out of our hands heard a boisterous, defiant “Mine!!” We start out with a bent toward selfishness, and our parents have the task of teaching us to share. Parents have the opportunity to shape the hearts of their children toward giving at a very early age, and my parents did that. Just grasping that something I had in my possession could be shared with someone else at age two was an accomplishment on their part! 

     I was blessed to be raised in a Christian home. My parents did a great job of teaching me the why behind giving. At one level I was taught the importance of giving because God commands us to give a tenth (tithe) of what He provides to us. But there was a much greater lesson in giving. It was about acknowledging that we have a perfect Father in heaven who takes care of us, and our tithe is our way to cultivate a heart of gratitude toward God. How did I learn to give a tenth? My “income” was an allowance received for doing chores. I know there are debates about paying a child to do chores since chores should be a shared responsibility among family members. However, my parents utilized allowances as a way to teach me how to handle money and to give it. I learned that the allowances I earned were NOT all mine. I was taught to bring ten percent out of the allowance and put it in the offering plate, and the rest was divided between saving and spending. Learning to give a tithe early helped me to acknowledge God as my provider. 

     By the time I was old enough to work summer jobs through high school and college, giving to the Lord was so ingrained that it felt unnatural not to give. Then I entered into the workforce. Being an Accounting major, I gravitated to serving on the Finance Committee at my church to help steward God’s resources and prepare budgets. The experience of serving on this committee was an eye-opener. First, I saw how paramount it is for all members to tithe to support the budget. Our giving not only supported our pastors, but missionaries who were sharing the gospel around the world. I observed dollars going to the poor. I could see that the church allocated God’s money to God’s work. Second, I saw the frustration of staff when giving was not what it should be. The church could do so much more ministry if every believer was obedient to God’s command to bring in the firstfruit of their income into His church (Malachi 3:8-10).  There is plenty of data on giving patterns in the church, and I understand why staff get discouraged. According to ­Barna Research done in 2001, between thirty to fifty percent of active church attenders give nothing. 

     How depressing. As I served on the Finance committee, I could sense a callousness developing in my heart. Giving a tithe to support the church budget was an expectation from God, and I was going to be faithful to Him. But I began to operate in automatic pilot. The tithe check started to feel perfunctory. In fact, I started calling my checks “thank you” notes to God to get my heart more involved. But I wanted my heart to be engaged with giving beyond the experience of dropping my “thank you” note in the offering plate as it went by. There was an absence of joy in giving that’s described in Scripture.  If Macedonian churches in 2 Cor 8:2 could experience “overflowing joy” while “giving generously out of extreme poverty”, then surely joy is just waiting to be experienced in generous giving regardless of my level of resources. There has to be more to giving than increasing my percentage of giving to the church. I decided to do something about that. 

     It was New Year’s Eve, December 31, 2006, and I remember wanting a New Year’s Resolution for 2007. As the clock ticked, I decided that my resolution was not going to take the form of a goal. We all know how that goes! I decided that my resolution would be in the form of a simple prayer that I would commit to pray regularly throughout the year. This was my resolution for 2007: “Lord, help me to be a generous giver just like you.” 

     This prayer began to change my heart and my life.  God began a new work in my heart.  My giving went from something I should do to something I desired to do. God ignited a desire in my heart to share His resources as often as possible. I immediately altered my Excel budget spreadsheet. My old version had only one line item for my “thank you” note to the church. A new line item was added entitled, “Those in Need.”  I started with a fixed dollar amount and prayed that God would reveal to me those in need.  In return I would respond immediately. Luke 6:30 says, “Give to everyone who asks.” I trusted God to reveal who needed the resources without me judging the person, and He did so. The joy of giving took off!  I would wake up each day having no idea who God would reveal to me to share His resources, and I couldn’t wait!  If I had any remaining dollars that were not given, they were rolled into the following budget cycle as an addition to the set amount I had established. In addition, if expenses I budgeted for didn’t happen or were lower than expected, I took the extra and rolled it into the “Those in Need” line item as well. That line item came alive and is alive today!  It’s the one line item in my budget that has the most spiritual energy and gives me the greatest joy. 

     I thank my parents who taught me to give at a very early age.  I learned to give to God as a discipline, and this foundation remains my springboard to accomplish His purposes through additional giving. I also thank God for hearing my heartfelt prayer in 2007 and answering it!  I continue to pray this prayer. By God’s grace, I now experience the joy of giving and have transitioned from learning to give to desiring to give.  

Blessings,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Lee Ann

11.3.11 A Day in the Life of Dad

     It’s Friday afternoon around 3:00, and I have just arrived at Dad’s apartment to do my bi-weekly inventory so I can re-stock his shelves with groceries, medical supplies, and medications.  As I enter his apartment, I see the typical clutter.  In the kitchen is a makeshift pantry, made of four tiers of shelving.  Littering the floor are old newspapers and newsletters that need to be placed in the recycle bin, although I can’t do that without him supervising, lest he gets upset.  So the floor remains cluttered. 

     When I call out his name, he let’s me know he is in his bedroom.  I wander into his room and find a smiling nurse named Charity standing by the foot of his bed.  Dad is in his wheelchair with his back to me.  Charity has just finished redressing his stasis ulcers and his bed has a used chuck on it that needs to be thrown out as it is contaminated by some of the fluids that drain from his open ulcers.  Dad is glad to see me.

      “Charity, have you met my daughter?”  he asks.  Dad loves to introduce me to the staff.  He watches Charity pack her medical supplies so she can tend to the next resident.

      “Lee Ann,” Dad asks.  “See those alcohol pads?  I need you to buy some for me when you do your shopping.” 

      “I actually have plenty of these,” offers Charity.  “ I will be glad to leave you with a supply of them.” 

      “That won’t be necessary,” says Dad.  “I need some on an ongoing basis, so I will have Lee Ann go buy them.” 

      “Charity, that is a sweet offer,” I say.  “On behalf of Dad, we accept!”  (I’m thinking protect the little cash we have on hand.) 

     We hear a knock at the door.  Dad hollers, “Come in!”  A tall medical aide enters with clean laundry.  Now there are four people squeezed into Dad’s small bedroom.  Dad can’t see her face because his back is still to us.  She is not smiling.  In fact, she looks like she hates her job.  This look only gets exacerbated when my Dad begins to criticize her as she brings in clean T-shirts, sweat pants, and towels.  Dad is fussing at her because she not only picked up his basket of dirty laundry, but she took the liberty to pick up a dirty towel off of his bed. 

     “I don’t want you to take the towel off my bed,” says Dad.  “If I want it cleaned, then I will PUT it in the laundry basket.  I even typed a note and hung it by the laundry basket requesting that you only launder what I put in the basket.” 

     The aide is NOT smiling.  She is clearly put out.   

     “Dad, she was only trying to be helpful,”  I say, trying to rescue her.

      “I leave all kinds of notes around this apartment, but they don’t bother to read them.  Do they not read English?” Dad asks.   The aide rolls her eyes and shakes her head.  She seems sorry she ever showed up.  She heads out the door.                 

     Charity has her travel bag packed with her medical supplies, and she leaves also, “Have a good day, Harry,” she says with all smiles. 

     It’s now Dad and me.  I pull his wheelchair out of the bedroom and into the living room.  He is still agitated from the interaction with the aide, but I am ready to walk through the apartment and make a  list of groceries and supplies he’ll need to sustain him for the next two weeks.  My goal is to get this done quickly so I don’t have to hang around long in an apartment that smells like urine.  Dad is incontinent.  He has adult diapers, but they aren’t enough.  Dad stuffs his sweats with a thick towel  to absorb additional leakages.  But those aren’t always changed as often as they should be, and when they are, the towels go in his laundry basket, and it may be a day before a new wash is done.  The stench  never goes away. 

     I leave him by his computer in the living room.  “I will be back with your groceries in about an hour,” I say as I head out the door. 

     Dad has a strong need to control, especially his environment.  If things aren’t done the way he requests, it’s emotionally disruptive for him, and he takes it out on staff.  If he can’t find what he needs in his apartment, it frustrates him.  If I try to tidy up his apartment when he’s out of pocket by throwing away old newspapers and newsletters, he gets angry because these papers “might be useful later.”  He wants to oversee what leaves the apartment via the trash can, recycle bin, or otherwise.  Caring for my Dad can be challenging for me and the staff who care for him.  Yet I serve my Dad because it’s a high calling.  God commands us to honor our parents.  

      I Timothy 5:4 says that “children or grandchildren should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.”  Though this passage refers to caring for widows, I believe the principle applies to any parent or grandparent who is in need of care.  Verse 8 of this same chapter says, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”  These are samples of biblical reasons I care for my Dad.  But there is an emotional reason that supersedes them.  I love my Dad.  I am committed to giving him the very best I have to offer.  When he passes, I will be able to put my head on a pillow each night knowing I did the very best I could to help him manage the fears and frustrations he’s had to deal with before the Lord takes him home.  He is sick and tired of his life and is praying for an early ticket into eternity.  

     There are many reasons I look forward to heaven, but one will be seeing a father who is completely healed physically and emotionally and spending eternity with him in a perfect, sinless state.  Better days are ahead! 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

8.16.09 The Spiritual Gift of Prophecy

Please do not panic over the title.  I have not gone off the deep end, but I can’t wait to tell you what I experienced at an all day retreat at Camp Mary Dell just south of Abilene, Kansas, yesterday.  My spiritual mentor happens to be the senior pastor at Community Bible Church in Abilene, and he and I have stayed connected in our friendship through a leadership mentoring group that meets once a month.   At our last meeting he invited our group to attend a day retreat led by Pastor Brad Brinson, who pastors Two Rivers Church outside of Knoxville, TN, and who has the spiritual gift of prophecy, and he led it yesterday and really opened my eyes to how God wants to speak into our lives.  I left a changed person.

First, if you’re like me, we have a fuzzy idea about how this gift really functions in the church.  I don’t know of anyone in Hutchinson who professes to have this as their primary gift, but after yesterday’s retreat, I learned that there is a universal level for the gift of prophecy, which is simply  a means by which God chooses to speak into our lives for the purposes of strengthening, encouraging, comforting others, and edifying the church.  There is a universal level for it because in Acts 2:16-18 ALL will prophesy.  And in John 10:1-5, 26-27, ALL believers hear the voice of their shepherd.  This gift is meant to be experienced for and in the context of the church community.  There are probably a good number of believers with this gift, but because of fear of abuse or ridicule, they are not speaking up to share what God is trying to communicate for the purposes of strengthening, encouraging, comforting and edifying the church.  Pastor Brad made it very clear that this gift is not a “thus saith the Lord” with fingers pointing at you as if anyone had the corner of truth.  In fact, the bible tells us that we will only know things “in part” (I Cor 13:9).  You and I will only have a piece of the puzzle that needs to be tested and confirmed by others.  So the first change in me that I experienced is realizing that God speaks to ALL of us (not just some of us, or the pastor, or those with the specific gift of prophecy), and he wants to use us to speak into the lives of others in the church.  (We heard many accounts of how God used this gift in Pastor Brad’s life and in the church community, and it just gave us chills as to how God spoke His voice through multiple believers to speak into each other’s lives.)

Second, this retreat confirmed a phenomenon I have not experienced in my Christian walk until this year.  Many of us intercede in prayer for others because people ask for us to pray for them.  Or we choose to intercede on behalf of leaders in our country because the bible commands us to do so.  But I have to tell you that it wasn’t until March of this year that I experienced being called into the role of an intercessor on a daily basis for an individual and their family that has given me great joy and has been so much fun.  I have walked with the Lord for 38 years, and this strong burden to just start praying for this individual and family members is a first.  I have spent many months processing why I have had such a strong desire to pray for this person, and I have tried to rationalize it instead of just embracing that God has called me out to participate with him as he continues to anoint this very special family.  When I ran this phenomenon by our speaker, he immediately confirmed that I was being called out as an intercessor.  He has had this experience as well and could totally identify with this dynamic and the joy I am experiencing with it.  I left feeling not so weird!

Third, I left the retreat with a commitment to not let another powerful teaching register as good knowledge to store, but instead apply it as soon as possible and start risking with God and how He speaks to me and use the teachings of this retreat to step out in faith.  (For those who would like the talking points that were given to us at this retreat, you may simply ask me to email the pdf for your file.) My application began this AM.  Since I was already praying for this individual and family, I decided to use the order of worship where this person’s son-in-law just got installed as pastor and pray through each of the elements of worship while the worship service was going on.  It was one of the most powerful worship experiences I have had where tears began as soon as I started praying, and God gave me words of encouragement to share along with an image to share.  This is the exciting and the scary part.  I need to risk and share it and let this young pastor test it!  He doesn’t even know who I am, so those of you who feel inclined to pray, please pray that the Holy Spirit will go in advance of my email to prepare this pastor’s heart to receive it and be willing to submit it to the Lord to test it.  If I don’t risk, it will essentially be a form of disobedience, and I will never experience how God really wants us to use prayer to loose and bind things here on Earth.

Blessings,

Lee Ann