I am faced with a most interesting tension around giving, and I bet I am not alone. I wholeheartedly believe that when people approach us who are in need and ask us to help, we are to give without judging them (Luke 6:37). Why? Because Jesus says “He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:35-36 ). Jesus teaches that we are to even lend to our enemies without expecting to get anything back. (Luke 6:35)
When I look at the Scripture around this principle of giving, I don’t see anywhere in the Scripture that I have a role to assess the real level of need when a person asks for help. I think of the panhandlers I see daily. They are asking for help, but they obviously had enough resources available to get them to the corner on which they stand. Some are likely receiving disability checks, have some form of housing, and can find meals at soup kitchens. So exactly how much “in need” are they? I don’t know, and I don’t think it really matters. I still think that Jesus teaches us to give out of a spirit of kindness and mercy – not out of a spirit of judgment. On the other hand, the Bible clearly teaches that we are to be good stewards of His resources. So how panhandlers are handling what they receive does matter to God. In fact , we will all give an account some day for how we handled His resources.
The tension I am facing is that the request is coming from someone I know, and I have watched some of the spending habits of this person, and I am having to fight the urge to judge. Have you ever been in this position? Do you think a person who is asking for financial assistance should be accountable for how they spend money if they are going to be receiving help on a regular basis? Should we be asking a person to “prove” they are short on money before we honor a request? My head says, “Absolutely”, but my heart says, “No. The Lord will hold all persons accountable for how they stewarded His dollars, and it is not my place to be the judge.”
I keep vascillating between being given the privilege to give and being frustrated knowing that I may very well be enabling some poor spending habits or decisions. And by enabling another and seeing some unnecessary spending, can I guard my heart well enough to prevent possible resentment? Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Whatever I decide to do has to be settled in my heart because I don’t want the joy of my salvation and my walk with Christ to be eroded by a monthly check being given because someone asked for help. 2 Cor 9:7 says that when we give, we should give with a cheerful heart. Cheer or joy should be the default setting of our heart when we give.
I am landing on just giving and not judging someone’s perceived need for assistance. Do I want to see the bank statements and credit card statements? Yep. Do I want to see the person demonstrate sacrificing some current expenses that can be eliminated from their current spending patterns? Yep. Do I want them to be accountable to me on a regular basis? Yep. Do I want them to demonstrate that they have exhausted their income sources first before asking for help? Yep. Am I going to press for any of these logical requests? Nope. Here’s why.
There is too much at stake before the Lord that has nothing to do with the amount of money being requested. What’s at stake is my heart. The Lord can use this situation as an opportunity to mold my heart to be more like His. It’s the decision to give with a spirit of kindness and mercy, which is more like Him. It’s a decision to love unconditionally, which is more like Him. It’s a decision to allow this opportunity to grow my heart toward being a more generous giver, which is more like Him. It’s a decision to give with joy without expecting anything in return, which is more like Him. It’s also a decision to trust Jesus at his Word. Jesus gives me a promise in Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” I either believe this to be true or I don’t. I will tell you that I not only trust Him at His word, but I rest on this promise on a regular basis in the area of giving. I can tell you that I cannot outgive Him. When I give, there is only a temporary reduction in the checkbook, but it never fails that the Lord pours blessings into my lap when I least expect it. It is truly an amazing experience to trust Him and risk with Him in the area of giving.
The Lord’s message is to not worry about judging another’s financial situation and their stewarding abilities. The judging role belongs exclusively to the Lord. We weren’t invited to be on His panel. But we have been invited to give His resources. I bet those of you who have already given in situations like this look back without any regrets. I believe the Lord’s message to us is “I understand the tensions you feel with this, but I will reward it. Just trust me.” If we will just trust Him in this matter, then the joy of giving will be there, and our heart will be free from any potential resentment. I am going to say “yes” because I am to give to anyone who asks and trust the Lord to help my heart to be more like His.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Wow! This is a problem! Surely there is a limit to this spiritual generosity, a tempering by reasonableness. I have a friend I help occasionally who could manage money better. The Lord would surely reveal a stopping place somewhere short of a friend’s grandiose consumption habits…
Hi, Liz:
I first want to say thank you for engaging with this writing. Your response taps into the tensions I have been describing! To be fair to the person asking for help, I would not characterize this person as having “grandiose consumption habits”. That is not the case. This person is on a fixed income, and there will be some inevitable rise in expenses that will eventually exhaust their resources, and thus reduce some of the other spending I see going on now. I think there will be a natural tempering of how dollars get spent anyway. Having said that, I suppose that the limit to spiritual generosity and how the Lord would reveal a stopping place is the day He quits providing me the resources to help! But since all resources are His, He knows how to supply this person’s need by supplying my need for resources. In addition, I have experienced the Lord’s promise in Luke 6:38, and I think He will continue to deliver on His promise, so I am really not worried about the position I am in. Do I still feel the tension? Yes. But I am still going to give. There are other details that I didn’t feel I could share, but I am confident that it’s all going to work out for both parties involved! Blessings, Lee Ann
Lee Ann, You are way beyond me in the matter of giving. I think that when I tithe, then I have given back to God His due financially! As for helping others, I am a doubter as to their motive for money. I never give unless I can give it cheerfully. I grew up in the Great Depression & am sure that is where my ideas were formed, for I live very frugally, & I guess I expect others to be as frugal. You sound like you are expected to give over & over to the present person you have in mind. My daughter has recently made a new, good friend – or so she thought! They were doing things together daily, almost – at least 3-4 times a week, & my daughter, much more free-hearted than I, kept offering to pay for the cost of eating out, which was graciously accepted without exception; then this friend started borrowing from my daughter, without any effort to repay one cent on payday. To make a short story of this, when my daughter refused to loan any more money & asked that the friend repay what she owed, the friendship ended, then & there! I do not study the scriptures like you do on giving – I think of giving to promote the story of Jesus as the most important form of giving; however, only some people may be reached for Jesus through ministering to their physical needs first.
Letty Stapp Watt commented on your note “2.7.11 Giving: What’s Really at Stake”.
Letty wrote: “I think your line “whatever you decide has to be settled by your heart” pretty much answers our questions about all aspects of this life.”
Hi, Letty:
I think that is true as well. The main thing is that my heart aligns with the heart of God so that I make the best decisions possible that please Him. Blessings, Lee Ann
Nicki McFarland wrote:
Lee Ann,
I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. I feel you do have such a spirit of giving and such a good heart. However, I can with regret admit I am just not anywhere near where you are on this which is sad to say but I need to look at this more. I’m not saying I never give just that I can’t give blindly like you are able to do. Maybe it is my upbringing that has not fostered this approach or how I have been treated by immediate family in the past when I was in need. I need to look at this further.
I like Job 31:16-23 and his view on giving to those in need. He equates not helping and giving to losing a shoulder and an arm and felt he’d receive God’s terror as the sanction if he didn’t give. This must mean that giving is very important from God’s point of view. Jobs word pictures seems more black and white to me though because the people he was describing seemed to be in definite need. However, there is no rule about giving to those that aren’t in need that we just decide to help out for whatever reason God lays on our heart. When God has laid things on my heart, I tend not to question as much and just do it BUT when I’m given a situation where I start to reason and analyze a situation around me I find I make a judgment call.
For instance, last week I saw this show “What would you do?” where they faked having a women going through a check out line and she swipes her vision card and doesn’t have enough money to pay her grocery bill. Almost everyone Christian or non Christian alike helped this person out and flipped the tab for her. I found myself thinking . . . . now what would I do? I’ll be honest with you, I was struggling more than I should as a Christian with this from a recent experience I had seen. I had just been to Walmart the other day dealing with my own health issues in there but found myself despite feeling like I was about to pass out, very intrigued with the two completely full overloaded carts in front of me. It was taking forever and then found out this man and women were together and the gal looked as healthy as a horse loading and unloading the heavy carts. She swiped a vision card for 300 and some buck and then he swiped another vision card for another 300 and some bucks. They were a couple and somehow both on government support. They honestly were eating much better than me even if THEY HAD stocked up for the month. I scrimp here and there and have worked to keep my budget as low as possible in the food area to carry on to provide for myself. I suppose it is bitterness they get a free hand out and were given more then I allowed myself to spend on myself so I wouldn’t be calling on help from others? Have I judged them by my standards of what I apply to myself for living so tight? I just honestly don’t know if I saw these people come down the line in Walmart the next week and come up short on money to pay their bill if I could help them out knowing what they spent the last week there.
I have much to work on and grow as a Christian. I do know that God does not always give us what we ask for but he is a giving God. I’m just not always so certain God does not give us as well discernment on when or what is appropriate to give. Your thoughts are welcome I’m just processing
Nicki
Dear Nicki:
I love your transparency! And I love how you are so willing to struggle with this tension around giving and when to use discernment or not. Let me state the punchline of my response first, and then I will attempt to support it. I believe the tension goes away when our hearts are kept wide open for God to prompt us when we should give. It is not suppose to be a head exercise if God is laying something on your heart as you have already indicated. That’s easy. You just do it.
I, too, experience the tensions you’ve described at Walmart. In your scenario, if they were short on cash to pay for the goods, God may NOT put it in your heart to make up the difference, and that’s OK. However, if that same couple who was short turned around and specifically asked you for assistance, then I would apply Luke 6:30-38 and help because we are to “give to anyone who asks”, and I believe that a Sovereign God brings people like that into our lives because He knows that He has provided for us and that we can help them! I don’t believe that He places us in a position such that we would be forced to say “no”. Instead, I wonder how many times He has tested us to see if we would respond to people in our lives with a spirit of kindness and mercy.
So back to the couple at Walmart. You don’t think you could help them the following week after what you saw them purchase this week. That’s the part that is judgmental. We don’t know if they stocked up for themselves, or if they gave much of what they bought to other family or friends that may have been in greater need than themselves. That’s why I think our heads get too much in the way. We make assumptions about what we observe and think were pretty accurate in our perceptions of things, but we really aren’t.
I think that if I were in your shoes, I would begin praying that the Lord would just open your heart and allow Him to use you to give to those in need without the need to analyze the situation, and you will be amazed at how He will respond and prompt you. It will change your heart because you will realize that it is just a JOY to even be in a position to be used of Him to give His resources in the first place. Once you experience the joy of giving, you will not struggle in the future about giving to those who ask or who are in need. You will be home free! In fact, I am going to start praying for you in this area and let’s just see what happens. Are you in?!!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Linda Dill Wrote:
A wonderful message, as always!!! LD
Kathryn Penick Powell commented on your note “2.7.11 Giving: What’s Really at Stake”.
Kathryn wrote: “This is my third try to comment. The electricity kept going off in my house today. I ask myself if I am facilitating bad habits? Judge actions not people.”
Bill Childers wrote:
In our family experience giving has become, not a privilege, but a requirement according to Luke 12:48 (“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked”)
Thanks, ABC
Hi, Uncle Bill:
Thanks for taking the time to respond to this topic of giving. It is one that is very near and dear to my heart.
I wholeheartedly agree that giving is a requirement, and I would add to your reference of Luke 12:48(b) Malachi 3:10 where God instructs us to “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse.” In Proverbs 3:9 it says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.” At the bare minimum, all believers should be writing God a “thank you” note by giving 10% of their income to their local church.
I also believe that once we have fulfilled our requirements, we then have the privilege of being a blessing to others by going beyond the requirement and give to those in need or to those who are furthering the kingdom God or to whomever He just leads us to give. Acts 20:35 quotes Jesus saying, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I love Proverbs 11:24-25 that says, “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” It’s a privilege to minister to others and be a blessing to others because God has blessed us. It is just a joy to be the conduit of His resources!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Deanna Taylor wrote:
Hi Lee Ann,
I enjoy reading your thoughts. Thanks for sending them to me. First on the prayer. I am so blessed to have found that one church in Hutch meets 30 min prior to each service for prayer. Another church has designated the Sunday night services just to church gathered prayer as they really take it to heart that God’s house IS a house of prayer. WOW!!!
About the giving, my spirit has been convicted that we need to not get in the way of God taking those who need to learn to trust him with provisions and money and let Him lead them through the deserts and through dependence totally on Him. He really demonstrated this in my own life when as a single mom of 4, I did not have enough $ to survive on welfare while going through nursing school. He provided someone to help pay car gas, buy clothes for my children and me, I budgeted our food on 179.00 for all 5 of us in food stamps each month. Jehovah Jirah IS our provider and if we cannot trust Him in the desert, then when. I am finding that the body needs to also be strong in ministry to the spirit and even if there is fasting it brings you to Jesus and dependence on Him and not others. Thanks for listening.
Deanna
Hi, Deana:
Let me respond to the issue on prayer. I am thrilled to hear that there are churches spending time in prayer as a body of believers. I am blessed to be a part of a church where we pray while the service is going on, and there are teams of people who sign up on a rotational basis so that each service is covered in prayer. I would be interested in knowing which church is devoting their Sunday evening service to prayer. That is awesome!
I found your thoughts on giving to be from such an interesting angle. I see the importance of learning to be totally dependent upon the Lord for our provisions. What’s interesting is that God raised up someone to help pay for gas in your car, or to buy clothes for the kids. So while you were learning to trust the Lord for His provisions, He was still calling out someone to be the “giver”. I John 3:17 says, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” So though you weren’t dependent “on others”, you were dependent upon the Lord to raise someone up to provide His resources. Thus, the corollary is that just as you were having to be totally dependent on the Lord to provide, many of us need to be totally sensitive to the leadership of the Holy Spirit to be ready to give when we least expect it because someone may need money to put gas in their car!
I just love processing these things out! Please let me know if you have other thoughts. I am listening!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Deana Taylor wrote:
Well as far as the financial issues, yes, God used someto provide an “actual”need. It is hard to discern and if we feel to give we should give. I just see in a couple of my own grown children and so many 20-30 year olds that they way over spend need new stuff and do not give faithfully but in my watching they are asking others to supply their wants and not needs. I think walking by faith is giving up alot and living without alot until we can be trusted by God again!!!???
Lee Ann,
I find it interesting that the one who does the giving is often left in peace while it is the onlookers and those around that feel the angst of the situation. Why? Because God put it in the giver’s heart to give. But why the angst of the bystander? I have been on both sides and can only surmise that A)I feel I have to shield others from being taken advantage of but B)that’s not my job! SO, I like to be the one doing the giving:)
Something else I love about Jesus is that He never only heals physically, he heals spiritually. In fact, it is the spirit he is most concerned about, but he uses the physical to gain respect in the spiritual. One thing I would say–and bet you are already doing with this person you are helping–is that our purpose is to give not only money, but the capacity to use it wisely. THAT is when the person you give the money to will be held accountable for it. Otherwise, without knowing they know only what they have done before which obviously didn’t work. As in Romans when it says, “how can they believe without being told” so how can this person use the money wisely without being taught. I’m pretty sure I’m preaching to the choir, so my words are: I’m with you sister!
Alaina,
This is very insightful! What I have not communicated in any of my blogs is that I started a prayer in the year 2007 that I have continued, and I just believe that He is honoring the request. The prayer is short and sweet, “Lord, help me to be a generous giver just like you.” So I do believe that the one giving is at peace because God does “put it in my heart to give”. He is growing me in the area of giving through multiple situations, and I have to say that just because I am giving does not mean cash flow for me is easy. It is incredible journey that I hope to be able to write about in the somewhat near future.
Thanks so much for your thoughts. May God continue to richly bless you and your family.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Susan McCormick Pruett commented on your note “2.7.11 Giving: What’s Really at Stake”.
Susan wrote: “Think I’ll jump in here… A priest friend of mine once said, the receiver does not have to be deserving to make the gift worthy.”
Amen, Susan! I hope all is well with you.
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Art Mosely wrote:
Lee Ann I too have wrestled from time to time with the issue of giving. Most of the time I give as I feel lead by the Lord. For example; I was in Denver Colorado on a business trip. I went looking for a place close to the Hotel and finally decided on KFC. I got my food and was eating it when a guy came in and got a glass of water and sat down. I seemed to sense that he was not able to buy food, so I asked him if he had eaten. When he said no I offered to buy him a meal and he accepted it. I did not get a chance to talk with him.
Today a friend of mine called and related how the Lord had worked in his life today about giving. He did not say how much, but it was enough to cause him to transfer money from one account to another to be able to cover the check. Evidently this had been on his mind for a few days, because he said that when he placed to check in the post office it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. I sent him your blog URL.
I think that we can have more peace about giving when we just open ourselves up to let the Lord lead us in our giving. I am working on my taxes and had forgotten about some donations I had made. Thinking back on the larger donations above tithes I know it was the Lord prompting me to give.
Blessings,
Art Mosely
Amen, Art! I believe that giving is Spirit-led and that God puts it in our heart to give. For me, it is not about the amount, but rather how OPEN my heart is to let the Lord work through me. Thanks for your thoughts, Art!
Blessings,
Lee Ann
Tomi Foust wrote:
Again, another excellent blog—thanks for sharing.
Tomi Ann Foust