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8.18.11 V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

After my last blog post about my quest to manage Dad’s finances, I heard from many of you that you have been praying for me and my Dad.  Your prayers are being heard.  God is showing up in the midst of my quagmire!  It seemed appropriate to dedicate a post to brag on God and the victories He has brought so far because of your prayers: 

1.   I was able to file claims on Dad’s two hospital indemnity plans.  By God’s grace, I managed to file them three days before the deadline.  Within two weeks we received a reimbursement check for $2,334.  The second insurance carrier sent me two checks today totaling $6,688.  This is enough to pay off at least two of Dad’s credit cards.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord. 

2.   My Dad had a 900-minute cellphone plan when he averaged only 550 minutes per month.  Changing his plan to mirror his usage translated to a savings of $50/month.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord. 

3.   Dad’s military insurance company (USAA) was deducting $88.52/month for “Property & Casualty.” Upon further investigation I discovered it was a bundled premium comprised of an umbrella policy, an auto policy, and renters insurance.  Dad hasn’t driven a car for over two years because he is not medically able. He lives in a small assisted living apartment with very old, 4-drawer lateral files, an old desk, and a bed/chest of drawers. We don’t need renters insurance. I cancelled these policies, saving Dad an additional $89/month.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord. 

4.   I called USAA because Dad was being charged for auto insurance while he hasn’t been driving.  I explained that he was on painkillers for his open ulcers, which made it unsafe for him to drive.  Though it is ultimately Dad’s responsibility to notify USAA that he would no longer be driving a car, his memory was not functioning because he was so drugged up.  Dad was just not in a position to recognize that he was still paying auto insurance when the premium was blended in with two other policies.  Since Dad has given USAA business for many years, USAA was willing to work with me.  With a note from his physician vouching for his inability to drive, USAA issued a credit of $718.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord. 

5.   Getting Dad enrolled in the VA medical system for free care is a top priority.  Especially when the day comes when he will most likely need around-the-clock care.  I needed to complete a VA enrollment application, but that task seemed overwhelming given that I had no idea how to get started.  It was no coincidence that God placed in my Sunday School Class a woman who is a VA trained peer counselor and knew all about the enrollment process!  She was a tremendous help, and because of her assistance, I completed Dad’s application with the right military paperwork to send off to the VA by August 4th.  That was a victory in my book.  Thank you, Lord, for how you raised up the right person to assist me and for helping Dad find his Discharge Summary in his file. Would you please pray that God would grant my Dad favor in the eyes of the VA to receive an acceptance letter? (Potential Ka-Ching!) 

6.   I discovered Dad was paying $22/month for backup services for his computer files, when he had already subscribed to a three-year, online backup service.  He just didn’t remember having done that.  Thus, I got to cancel $22/month for additional savings to the bottom line.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord.

7.   Remember all of his charitable giving via credit cards and his bank account that I had to unhook?  That was a savings of $650/month.  Ka-Ching!  Thank you, Lord. 

8.   Dad is a big believer in tithing to the Lord.  I am too.  It is not an option to not tithe!  It’s a victory to be able to write the Lord a “thank you note” for His provisions and not be in the red. 

God hears the prayers of His children, and so I am sharing these victories with you!  These victories are ours, not mine alone.  I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many prayer warriors.   Matthew 18:19-20 gives us Jesus’ promise, “I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”  God has honored our prayers that have been uttered in agreement.  But there are still unresolved issues that are deeper than saving money.  I will be sharing the more difficult issues in my next post. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

7.24.11 High Maintenance or High Calling?

Quagmire: an awkward, complex, or hazardous situation (OED). 

Many of you know that I moved to Austin to help care for my father, who is in assisted living.  Up until recently it’s been relatively straightforward and simple: I’ve made grocery runs for him and stopped by to check up on him regularly.  That was all I was able to muster given the major life transition I had just made by moving back here and trying to establish a sense of normalcy in my own life.  Now that the dust has started to settle, I’ve moved into high gear with Dad. We’re in the process of transferring his financial responsibilities to me. Because of my extensive professional experience in finance, I believe I can provide him the most meaningful help in this area. I had no idea what I was getting into. I thought it would be as simple as getting my name on his checking account so I could sign checks and then paying a few bills on a monthly basis.  But the number of hours I’ve spent trying to sort out Dad’s finances are beyond anything I could have expected, and I can’t see the finish line. The word “quagmire” comes to mind. 

The problem is that the help I am providing is not exactly the kind of help Dad is seeking.  He is looking for someone to help him pay his bills without raising questions about how he spends his money. I am not only going through bills, but I am reviewing credit card statements and checking accounts as well as unhooking over twenty bank drafts (with his permission) for charitable donations.  Dad gives at the drop of the hat, and it takes just one piece of mail for him to say “yes” and fill in credit card data and send it on. Here is just a sample of what I’ve uncovered regarding Dad’s finances and some of the questions I find myself pondering: 

  • Major credit card debt is building each month.  What kind of purchases has he been making?  Are his financial needs greater than his income?  This needs to be analyzed.
  • He pays for two hospital indemnity plans.  Are we submitting claims to get reimbursed when he’s hospitalized?  He has spent many days in a hospital since I’ve been back in Austin.  I have scrambled to file claims with his two insurance companies hoping to get some reimbursement.  It’s a waste of money to pay premiums and then not utilize the benefits when the need arises.
  • Over twenty bank drafts and monthly credit card charges were going to charitable organizations using money he doesn’t have.  I had to unhook all of them to free up the cash.
  • He was making double payments for backing up computer files simply because he had forgotten that he already had this service in place.
  • I continue to discover multiple online orders for things that can be easily picked up at the grocery store.  We are doubling the cost of the product due to shipping charges and credit card interest.
  • He has a strong tendency to overstock. For cash flow purposes, he needs to learn how to buy in moderation.
  • As a retired military officer, he has benefits at the VA that he wasn’t even aware of.  I am trying to figure out as his Power of Attorney (POA) how to get access to this.  He has been paying for years what apparently has been available to him free of charge.
  • He wants to tithe, and I want to support him in that, but then he has to control his spending.  It can be accomplished, but he will have to understand what he needs to give up to do it.  He loves to give, but he’s not in the same financial position as he used to be. 
  • He has three medical insurers.  By the time a claim gets sifted from the primary carrier to the second and third carrier, there are balances still left to pay.  These bills are coming in from multiple providers.   How do you know which bills he really needs to pay versus those the providers are suppose to write-off based on usual and customary charges?  This is a whole different world, and I will be on an exponential learning curve as I try to get a handle on this.

Have you tried unhooking bank authorizations with an institution that likes your money?  Imagine sitting at my Dad’s apartment with cell phone in hand calling multiple organizations to inactivate bank drafts while not being the authorized person on the account.  We get a representative on the line…I introduce myself along with the purpose of the call…they ask to speak to my Dad…they verify his identity…Dad struggles to remember some of the data they are asking for and looks to me for assistance…I provide the answers to the security questions…and then Dad authorizes the organization to talk to me.  The process is cumbersome, and at times flat out irritating.  It infuriates me when I am asking someone to stop a bank draft for free credit reports or fraud protection, and they keep trying to sell a lowered benefit when we just want out!  Some of these organizations will not let you give notice in writing that you no longer want the service.  They say, “We’re sorry for the inconvenience.  (That’s hooey. These organizations are NOT sorry.  They need to quit reading their scripts and listen to the customer!) The only contact information you can find by statement or on the web is a phone number. 

It’s a bad sign when I tell Dad that I have put together a budget, and he replies, “Budget?” Dad hasn’t operated with a written budget for years, so he has no motivation to control spending and live within his means.  If he needs something, he just goes online and orders it. “Dad, you need to see the visual of how your fixed income is being spent,” I told him “and then you need to see the additional money you’re spending through credit cards.  You’re digging a deeper debt hole month by month for items you don’t need.”  This leads to another problem.  He and I have two different concepts of “need”.  I emphasized that God is providing the income he needs to have a roof over his head, clothes on his body, and food to eat.  Those are the needs the Lord promises to provide and tells us not to worry about. Dad’s definition of “need” is ordering 6 months worth of supplements with another 6-month supply already at his apartment.  

I am so thankful I have a POA because it gives me much latitude to assist Dad.  But just because I have the Power of Attorney doesn’t give me the right to take over unilaterally.  It gives me the legal right to take matters into my own hands, but I have an ethical and biblical duty to manage his affairs in a way that gives him dignity and honor.  You might think this is pretty clear-cut, but I find myself swimming in many shades of gray.  For example, it’s tempting to fix these financial issues myself by closing credit cards or by lowering limits on them so he can’t run them up. I could make decisions that are “best for him” without his input.  However, my Christian testimony is at stake, so I want to manage his finances in a way that honors him, which means including him on decisions that need to be made, even though I will spend more emotional energy dealing with his need to be in control.  I want to control his finances and empower him to make good decisions around spending to help him stay solvent and start paying down some credit card debt. However, the last thing I want to do is to control my father.  

I have shared what has been going on, but the greater question for me is how I will go about serving my Dad.  It’s one thing to have a black belt in budgeting and help Dad see his financial reality, but it is another to do it compassionately.  

I am writing with sadness in my heart.  My father has a master’s degree in Physics and another in Mathematics. This is a man who obtained one of the most prestigious scholarships in the Navy and had the privilege to work under Admiral Rickover (remembered as the “Father of the Nuclear-powered Navy”).  Dad worked in nuclear-powered submarines as a Navy officer and engineer.  He retired as a Lieutenant Commander. As a civilian, he worked as an engineer, but his love for teaching led him into the high school classroom teaching algebra, physics, trigonometry, analysis, calculus and Russian for over twenty-five years. He learned Russian as an adult to communicate with the Russians he was trying to reach for Christ. Dad is a very intelligent man, and it breaks my heart to see a mind that had such acuity slip so many gears that he can barely move out of neutral and get any traction in his day. A man who has been known for being meticulous in everything he did can hardly talk about what he did in a given day.  When he leaves a voicemail, he will forget midstream why he is calling.  It is not uncommon to walk into his apartment and find him just sitting in his wheelchair and having no idea how long he’s been there.  

As my father, this man deserves my respect and honor.  He is my top prayer warrior. He has told me over the years, “I consider it my highest privilege and responsibility as a parent to pray daily for my children.”  I can’t begin to tell you how much that ministers to my heart to know my Dad prays for me!  His prayers are a daily gift from God. 

I am in Austin for such a time as this.  If I focus on the hours I’ve spent on Dad’s behalf, it would be easy to label him as “high maintenance.”  However, if I focus on how I am going about investing these hours, then I will see this venture as a “high calling.”  I am on a journey with my Dad.  We are in our seats with our seat belts on, our tray tables locked, and our seats in their full and upright position.  While holding his hand, I expect this transition to have many bumps with occasional turbulent patches.  I will clothe myself with compassion (Col 3:12) as the Lord requires and love him through this time the best way I know how and leave the results up to the Lord.  I pray that the Lord will constantly remind me that Dad is more mentally vulnerable and to maintain sensitivity at all times.  His memory lapses will continue to happen, and he will get online and order things he forgot he already has or didn’t need.  I will feel frustrated when those times occur.  Over-spending will undermine the work I have invested to get his financial house in order.  In the end, I can only control what I do for him.  I love my Dad.  He deserves at a minimum the very best I can give him with the Lord’s compassion and mercy.  It’s a high calling.  Someday I will be looking for the same compassion and mercy from my own caregiver. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

6.1.11 I’m Home Now

I am sitting on my couch with a sleeping cat draped over my abdomen, while reflecting on how significant this new Women’s Sunday School class is to me.  After three weeks, we now have twenty women.  God is filling this class with women who want to grow in their relationship to God, and I can’t thank Him enough!  This teaching ministry erased months of feeling frustrated, under-utilized, and unsettled.  After twenty months of applying “go until you hear no”, I knew May 15th would decide whether I would remain at Riverbend or move on.  With twenty women now enrolled for my Sunday School Class, it’s clear that it is God’s will for me to stay where I am. 

My journey to find where God wanted me to teach turned out to be deeper than “Where does God want me to serve Him with my teaching gift? Here, or down the street?”  I felt frustrated because Austin didn’t feel like home to me until three weeks ago, and I’ve been here twenty months.  When I’m not teaching, life doesn’t feel normal for me.  Serving God through a teaching ministry has always been the centerpiece of my life.  Leading a weekly bible study isn’t just another commitment on my schedule.  Teaching Scripture is where I find my purpose in God’s kingdom.  How do I know this? 

My life choices, commitments, and how I manage time are organized around my teaching ministry and always have been.  Most people look forward to Fridays and the weekend, but the pinnacle of my week is Sunday morning.  When I get home from work, I begin working on the next week’s lesson.  That is not work to me.  That is FUN.  I am a regular student of those who communicate God’s Word effectively.  I have books on my shelf to help me improve how I teach.  I am always looking for a class or two sharpen my skills.  I pray that teaching will never be a burden, but always a joy and a passion.  I pray that the Lord will show me ways that I can improve as a teacher.  I pray that what I teach makes an eternal difference for everyone in my small groups.  I pray that He is glorified in my life.  It is my deepest desire to be faithful to use the gifts God has given me and to hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”(Matt 25:21) 

I bet I’m not alone.  Who doesn’t want to make a difference in the lives of others?  Don’t we all want to know that our life counts?  God created all of us with a purpose in mind.  He wants to fulfill our need to make a difference.  We are not on Earth to take up space for awhile.   Eph 2:10 says, “We are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  He not only designed the blueprint of who we are (Psalm 139:13-16), but He has also predetermined the good works He wants us to do for Him before we were ever born!  We exist for Him.  So if you’re asking, “Why am I here?”, then know that the divine answer is simpler than you think!  If you “peel the onion”, you will find at the very core that you and I were created for a relationship with God through Christ Jesus.  It starts with your heart.  Do you desire to know God?  He is not hard to find.  He tells us in Acts 17:24-28 that He created us so that we would seek Him.  In fact, we are told that those who reach out to Him will discover that “He is not far from each one of us.”  He gives us His promise in Proverbs 8:17(b), “Those who seek me find me.”   Embrace the love relationship He offers you.  He will be faithful and show you what He has ordained for you.  God wants to do extraordinary things through ordinary people like you and me.  

My heart overflows with gratitude to God when He answers prayer.  He knows that I find my life purpose in teaching His Word.  I also want to thank everyone who prayed for this new ministry.  Thank you to those who called, texted, and emailed me to hear how the first class went.  God is going to do some special things in this class as we grow.  I am going to ask that you continue to pray for this new ministry and that I would always seek the leadership of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct my preparations and my teachings week by week.  It is a blessing to be in God’s family and know that I am supported in prayer.  Please keep them coming!  

Life is good, but all the sweeter when I am in the bullseye center of His will.  I now feel connected in Austin.  I’m home now. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann

5.3.11 Why I’m Here

The countdown has begun.  As of last Sunday, I am two weeks away from starting a brand new Sunday School class for women.  It will mainly be single women as well as women whose husbands won’t accompany them to church.  What happens on that first day of class matters.  May 15th will represent either a brand new chapter at Riverbend, my home church, or it will signal an end to my 18-month tenure there.

That may sound drastic, but I have always had a strong understanding of my purpose and the spiritual gift God gave me.  I was a senior in high school when my mentor, Hal Haralson of First Baptist Church  Austin, saw my potential as a teacher.  When Hal asked me to teach a girls junior high class,  I was quite reluctant at first.  Hal saw something in me that I could not see in myself.  Nevertheless, I decided to go for it.  The worst thing that could happen was that I taught for a semester, and if I didn’t enjoy it, or the girls and I weren’t connecting well, then I could say “I tried it”.  Not only did I enjoy teaching, but the rapport with the girls was strong, and I fell in love with teaching!

I continued to teach the junior high class while I was in college.  When I graduated, Hal decided that I was ready to teach the College Sunday School class.  Again, I was resistant because I didn’t think I would have any credibility being fresh out of college and teaching students who were basically my peers.   Hal was already teaching this class, so he invited me to co-teach with him.  That sounded safe enough, so I tried it.  I was Hal’s co-pilot for three months before he transitioned this class to me.  What can I say?  I loved every minute of it, and my peers appreciated what I had to offer.

I have taught for 30 years.  There have been many Sunday School classes, cell groups, and topical studies that I have led, and what excites me about this role is seeing lives being transformed as a work in progress.  I feel great joy and feel privileged knowing that God can use me to facilitate spiritual growth in another.  I desire to make a difference in someone else’s life, and teaching is the arena God allows me to do this.  None of us have arrived, but we are learners together as we apply the truths of Scripture in our relationships wherever we are.  I believe with all of my heart that my ability to teach is a gift from God, and it is His will for me to use it.  For 30 years God has shown me through the affirmations of those who have sat under my teaching that this is why I’m here.   Teaching is a passion, and I continue to find ways to sharpen my skills on a regular basis.  I tried to audit a preaching and teaching class at Austin Seminary, but they didn’t admit any auditors.  However, I found the course syllabus online including the books for the class and the reading schedule.  I studied independently reading the books according to the weekly assignments.  I especially loved the book Preaching and Teaching, by Warren Wiersbe, which taught me the importance of mastering metaphors.

You can imagine the depth of disappointment I will feel if this class doesn’t develop and no women show up.  However, at a higher level, I will understand that a sovereign God must have another place in mind for me to teach, and my job is to keep “going” until I discover where He really wants me.  (See my last post “Go Until You Hear No” to appreciate my need to keep “going”.)  On the other hand, if this class  takes off, you can imagine the thrill of seeing God’s hand in allowing me a permanent teaching ministry where my teaching gift can be used for His glory.  I already have a rough outline of what I will teach and look forward to building incarnational community among women. 

I would be blessed if you would commit to pray in agreement with me that the Lord will fill this class with many women.  Please pray that I will always be yielded to the power of the Holy Spirit who faithfully leads me into His Truth and to communicate God’s Word in an engaging and effective way that draws people to Jesus Christ.  I am looking forward to May 15th with great anticipation of what God is up to in my life.  Teaching is why I’m here.  The question is where.

Blessings,

Lee Ann

4.9.11 Go Until You Hear No

“How do I know where God wants me to serve?”  Prior to attending seminary, I made decisions by praying to God, seeking godly counsel from family and friends , looking for the open door , and then made my decision accordingly.  But those pre-seminary decisions were not framed in terms of “calling”.  When I attended seminary and was looking for my first place of service, I was introduced to this idea of “calling”.  A “calling” happens when God initiates a summons to serve Him by imparting His gospel of salvation in a certain location.  Thus, when considering a  “calling” to a church staff position, it is encumbent on the candidate and the congregation to listen to God’s voice to see where He is “calling” us to serve.  

I didn’t realize I had an issue with a “calling” until about four years ago.  I could see that being back in Austin to take care of aging parents was going to be necessary, especially as it related to my Dad. My  reading of  I Timothy 5:8 “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” caused me to yearn for Austin so that I could fulfill this mandate.  Could I initiate moving to Austin and have God’s blessing, or did I need to wait to be “called”?  I felt paralyzed and trapped in making the decision – until I learned “Go until you hear no” introduced by Erwin McManus. 

Erwin McManus, a pastor who wrote “Chasing Daylight”, describes the principle of “Go until you hear no” through multiple biblical illustrations.  The illustration that impacted me the most is in Acts 16:6-10.  Paul and his cohorts are on mission to share the gospel.  They attempt to preach the gospel in the province of Asia, but while on the move they were kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching there.  But the team was not deterred.  They  attempt to enter Bithynia to preach the gospel, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.  Paul goes to sleep that night and has a vision of a Macedonian man begging Paul to “Come over to Macedonia and help us”, so Paul woke up and concluded that God had called them to preach the gospel to them.  This passage freed me.  McManus makes the point that Paul was always on the go to serve God.  Paul wasn’t praying about it for weeks on end, talking to a variety of ministerial colleagues to get their advice, and then waiting for a clear sign that destination “x” was his next place of calling to preach the gospel.  The point was that Paul was always going, and he knew WHY he was going (to share the gospel), he just didn’t necessarily know WHERE!  

The first successful application of “Go until you hear no” was moving to Austin.  It was freeing to know that I could initiate serving God without a “calling” by positioning myself to serve my parents in their time of need.   If I was on the wrong track, the Holy Spirit, or the Spirit of Jesus would stop me.   I look back on this process and realize that God kept the doors closed until He was ready to release me in His perfect timing.  But the success was being proactive in looking for opportunities to move here. 

One of the results of moving to Austin was not having a teaching ministry.  Teaching is how God has gifted me in the body of Christ.  I teach.  I have a passion for it.  I study on how to become more effective as a teacher.  I listen to top Christian speakers as they communicate God’s word to learn how to be more engaging.  I LOVE to teach.  So you can imagine the intense void I felt when I arrived in Austin having to start all over, find a church home, and then plug into the life of the church with my spiritual gift of teaching.  This is when I began another application of “go until you hear no.”  Just as Paul was always on the go to share the gospel, I have been on the go to teach in my church home.  

My first opportunity came at a Women’s Retreat  within the first three months of joining.  I kept “going” by offering to lead a Wednesday PM bible study the following month.  Several of us tried to get this up and running, but the Spirit of God apparently had other plans for me.  I have kept “going” as a regular substitute teacher in a dear Couple with Kids class over the last 6 months.  There have been times I have felt placated and pacified, but now I have an open door to launch a Sunday School class for women who attend church alone starting 5/15.  This appears to be an answer to a longstanding prayer for a permanent teaching ministry, but time will tell if God brings women to the class or not!  I am confident that if God has something else in mind for me, His Spirit will tell me no to the current opportunity, which means I will just keep “going”. 

I continue to grow in applying the principle of “go until you hear no”.  I encourage you to serve God in whatever capacity you feel honors or pleases Him with your gifts.  If you desire to serve God, be active in the process.  Stay on the “go”.  Let God pull the reins.  If He thinks you are going in the wrong direction, His Spirit will stop you.  His purposes can’t be thwarted by us anyway, so I think He is just thrilled that we would show interest in serving Him without passively sitting on the sidelines waiting to be “called”.  GO find a place of service.  

Thanks for listening.  I’ve got to go. 

Blessings,

Lee Ann